FANDOM


For starters, I recommend reading the script of the original game! Chapters that do not contain dialogs are placed in subcategories. -GAim4A

WITNESSEdit

LITTLE ITALY, FEBRUARY 26TH, 1945

[Joe, as usual, is lying in bed with prostitutes in his apartment. He gets out of bed, stretches out and looks in the window.]

Joe: What the hell?!

[He sees that Vito’s grabbed by the long arm of the law. This is Chapter 6 of the original game.]

Joe: No, no FUCK!

Girl from the bar: Everything alright baby?

[Joe's running to the phone.]

Waiter: This is Freddy's.

Joe: It's Joe… Henry there?

Waiter: Hey Joe. No, Henry ain't here. But Luca's lookin’ for ya. Hold on a sec.

Joe: Shhhhit…

[He's make a sign to the prostitutes to get out of his apartment.]

Luca: Barbaro! Where the hell are you?

Joe: I'm home. Listen Vito just got pinched. That's why I-

Luca: Already? SHIT! Alright, shut your mouth and listen. You remember that thing Vito did with the gas stomps, right? We just heard that somebody decided to squeal

Joe: Who was it!

Luca: Some guy who works in the gas station in your neighborhood.

Joe: I’ll kill the fuck.

Luca: No you won't. You're just gonna send him a message for now, let him know who he's fuckin' with. He ends up in a wheelchair line, but don't kill the guy. That's heat we don't need. Got it?

Joe: Yeah, I got it.

Luca: You better. Come by the bar when you're done.

Joe: FUCK! God dammit. Where the fuck are my pants…

[He dresses fast and leaves the apartment.]

Old lady: I heard ya last night with that floozy. I oughta call the cops.

[He's coming up to the gas station.]

Joe: There you are, you little prick.

[Once he gets inside, he throws the attendant on the floor right away.]

Joe: We need to talk. Sound good to you?

[The attendant hits him with an empty canister.]

Joe: Ah, shhhhit!!! Get over here, you little fuck!

[Attendant's running away. Joe rushes into a chase.]

Joe: Gonna kill this little prick… Can't just take its beatin' like a man…

[He catches up with him and puts his gun in attendant's mouth.]

Joe: Let's try this again.

Attendant: It wasn't me! I swear! It was Stan! Please, please! It wasn't me! I didn’t say nothin' nobody. You gotta believe me. I was Stan. He's the one who bought the stamps I swear!

Joe: Sorry, pal I heard that one before.

Attendant: I ain’t lying. It was Stan who told the caps, not me, I swear! Please. Please.

Joe: Alright. Let’s pretend I believe ya. Where's Stan right now?

Attendant: His shift just ended. He's headin' straight to the train station... Catchin' the 5 o'clock to Birkland. Ain't comin' back till he has to testify.

Joe: You know what's gonna happen if you're lyin' to me.

[He drives to the train station.]

Joe: Hey, Stan! Where ya goin'?

Stan: Oh, shiiit!

Joe: C'mere, Stan! I just wanna talk! You're starting to piss me off! Guy's a fuckin' circus freak. All... this fuckin... runnin’.

[In an attempt to escape from Joe, Stan rushes into two workers carrying a heavy box.]

Worker 1: Hey! Watch where you're going!

Worker 2: Hey, watch it now!

[Caught up with Stan Joe hitting him in the face.]

Joe: Now I want ya to listen real careful Stan. You're gonna leave town tonight. And you ain't gonna come back.

Stan: Fine. But it ain't gonna make a difference.

Joe: What the hell’s that supposed to mean?

Stan: Nothing.

[Joe breaks his finger.]

Joe: You got yourself nine good fingers left. Wanna make it eight?

Stan: There's somebody else. Somebody who knows about a lot more than just the OPA robbery. DA said he's gonna take down everybody. The DA's gunnin for you. He's gonna take down your whole operation.

Joe: Who is this guy?

Stan: No idea…

[Joe's shoots a bullet next to Stan's head.]

Stan: I don't know! I heard the cops… the cops are keepin' him safe somewhere. Guess I wasn't important enough for that

Joe: You’re not. Remember that. Now get your ass up. You got a train to catch.

[He's calling Luca from the nearest pay phone.]

Waiter: This is Freddy's.

Joe: Hey, it's Joe. Lemme talk to Luca.

Waiter: Sure hold on he's right here. It's Barbaro.

Luca: Joe. It done yet?

Joe: Yeah but there's somebody else.

Luca: What do you mean.

Joe: The greasemonkey said the DA's got somebody else. Somebody who's gonna take out the whole operation.

Luca: Fuckin' Mazzeo... I knew it.

Joe: Who the hell's that?

Luca: Richie Mazzeo. They picked him up last month. Guy's a retard but he could put us all away. FUCK! Alright listen, you're gonna find out where they're keepin' him I don't care how. When you do, you make sure he don't talk to nobody ever again. Got it?

Joe: Yeah, I got it. So did you, uh, he or from Vito?

Luca: Just worry about Mazzeo. We'll take care of Vito.

[Joe's driving to the police station. Two people are coming out of it.]

Detective: What's the matter? Somebody shit in your corn flakes this morning?

Detective 2: Yeah. The Captain when he put me on babysittin' duty.

Detective: Take that up with the DA pal. Star witnesses ain't too easy to come by. Sides, I can think of a lot worse than playing cards with the fellas all night.

Detective 2: All I’m sayin' is I got better things to do than babysit some wiseguy stoolpigeon.

Joe: Alright, c'mon, just spill the beans already...

Detective: Hey, ya know what? Maybe you'll get lucky and a truckload of wiseguys 'll show up shoot the place up good.

Detective 2: You really know how to cheer a guy up you know that?

Detective: Yeah, don't mention it.

[They get in the car and leave, driving to the boat dock on the outskirts of town. Joe sneaks up on his ice floes.]

Joe: Ssssshit!

Detective: Here. Brought ya some coffee.

Detective 2: Thanks. I’m freezing my balls off out here.

Detective: I told you to dress warm, didn’t I?

Detective 2: Hey, I’m wearing the same damn thing as you. It’s just that I’m standing out here while the canary in there’s all nice and warm.

Detective: God bless the criminal justice system, eh.

Joe: Bingo.

[He's quietly strangling the detective and finds a cabin where the chief witness Richie Mazzeo and several policemen are hiding.]

Richie: What the hell are you waitin’ for! Shoot this asshole! You're supposed to be protectin' me, for fuck's sake!

[In this very moment Joe breaks the door and kills one of the cops. Richie is running away.]

Joe: Shit!

[He kills the rest of the cops. Richie gets in his car and drives away. Joe rushes into the chase.]

Joe: Argh... If this asshole gels away I'm fucked.

[They go to the icy lake. Joe crashes into Ritchie's car.]

Joe: You like that, ya rat! Whoawhoawhoawhoa! Hallefuckinlah... How 'bout little bumper cas!? Ohhh... Shit! Hoo. Not doin' that again. Come on, you fuck.

[He pushes Ritchie's car to the curb and shoots the chief witness with a shotgun.]

Joe: Alright, now back to Freddy's.

[He's going to the bar...]

Luca: Hey, you wanna argue with the boss, Henry? Huh? I didn't think so. Just worry about that leg of yours. Alright, I'll see ya. (to Joe) Well?

Joe: It's done.

Luca: Alright. Good job.

Joe: So uh, what's happening with Vito?

Luca: We got him the best lawyer in town He'll be out in mo time.

[Vito's trial begins - the events of Chapter 6 of the original game are repeated.]

Judge: ...for your crimes against the people of this city and of this great country… this court hereby sentences you to ten years in a federal penitentiary.

[After the trial...]

Joe: Ssssshit! FUCK! What the hell? You said he was gonna get off!

Luca: First of all, lower your fuckin' voice. Second, we'll talk about it tomorrow, not now. Go home and cool off, then come back in the morning. Understand?

Joe: Yeah, whatever…

[He leaves.]

Luca: Dumb son of a bitch…

[Joe's coming home. His phone starts ringing.]

Joe: Ugh... Who the hell is this now... (picks it up) Yeah.

Henry: Joe, listen to me-

Joe: Henry! You hear what happened to Vito? The little cocksucker said he was gonna take care of everything, and then he goes-

Henry: Joe! Will you shut your mouth and listen to me!!! Look, I’m sorry about Vito, there was nothin’ I could do, but you gotta listen. You just made Luca’s hit list.

Joe: What's that supposed to mean?

Henry: It means THEY'RE GONNA KILL YOU. That's how happens, Joe. You must've pissed him off good. You probably got about 5 minutes before the guys show up.

Joe: Yeah? Let 'em come. What the hell do I care.

Henry: What are you gonna do, tough guy? Kill 'em? And then who do you think's gonna happen tomorrow? Look, you got two choices you can either skip town or you can stay and die. And hey, Joe, what you did for me at the distillery... we’re even now.

FIVE YEARS LATER

[Joe's going back to the Empire Bay. He grew a mustache, put on a Hawaiian shirt and aviator glasses.]

Tony Balsamo: You got some balls comin' back here.

Joe: Ey!!! Oh!!!!

Tony: Look at this guy! Jeez you ain’t changed a bit! What the hell are you wearin' though?

Joe: What, you mean my disguise? Not bad, huh?

Tony: Yeah, it's about as subtle as a kick in the nuts.

Joe: Alright alright, so how's my place?

Tony: Like I told yo on the phone - it's just like ya left it. Here's the keys.

Joe: Nice. And uh, how bout that job we talked about.

Tony: Don't worry, I got more than enough work for both of us these days. You want a lift?

Joe: No thanks. Think I'll grab my own

[A note appears on the screen, apparently written by Tony.]

Tony: Welcome back to civilization, buddy! When you were having your fun in the south, I took care of your apartment and other stuff. I left a car for you outside the station, so you can drive around and see what's new. Just keep a low profile. Five years is still not long enough for some people to forget what you've done. When you're done sightseeing, you can get back to work. I'm sure there are people around here who might have some interesting jobs for you.
Get the car and get rollin'.

[At the exit of the railway station he is welcomed by two scumbags.]

Scumbag 1: Hey tons-o-fun, where you goin’!?

Scumbag 2: Yeah, you forgot to pay the toll. That’ll be five bucks. (about 55 bucks in 2020)

Joe: Wrong guy, wrong day.

[He's kickin' their asses.]

Joe: Hope that was worth live bucks.

GOING OUT OF BUSINESSEdit

Tony: Hey, Joe. Had to call in a favor to get you this so don't fuck it up. We got this thing goin' on with Derek. Hot cars and shit. Should be a lot of dough in it for all of us. But we gotta get rid of the competition first. Couple of little punks, too stupid to know who they dealin' with, set up shop in some warehouse in Millville. You get down there and light the place up good. Take 'em out of business and we'll take care of you. Poor sons of bitches won't know what hit them.
Get down to the warehouse in Millville and take out the competition!

SKUNK IN THE TRUNKEdit

Marty: Joe, I'm in big fuckin’ trouble here! I hit some guy - I mean some crazy fuck just jumped in front of my cab this morning! He came outta nowhere, he had to be like drunk or somethin'! The fucker's dead Joe! The cops’ll never believe it was an accident! You gotta help me! I didn't think was lookin' so I shoved his body in my trunk. You gotta do somethin' with it fast!
Take care of the body in Marty's cab before he gets arrested.

LIMO MOVIN'Edit

Tony: Hey, this car thing's startin' to pay off. Be surprised how many of these rich bastards are cheaper than the shylocks downtown. Just got an order for a limo at our, uh, discount prices. find it, bring it to the dock so we can move it fast and you’ll get your cut. But Joe, these downtown pricks want it perfect. You scratch it up and you get shit.
Steal the limo and deliver it to the docks.

WHEELS OF EVIDENCEEdit

Mike: Some little shitbag that bought a Kingfisher from me, fucked up goo The asshole used the car in a fuckin' job, and then runs when the goddamn cops show up. Joe, the cops got that car in holding right now. They start looking around, and it's gonna make a lot of people we know nervous. You find that car and make it disappear, or it’ll be both our asses!
Get that red Berkley Kingfisher back from the cops and bring it to Bruski.

CONNECTIONEdit

Eddie: Tony got word from Derek that some fuckers are tryin' to move some heavy shit through the docks without coughin' up their share. This ain't the usual stuff, we're talkin' army grade shit here, enough to make a fortune on the street. Tony pulled some favors, looks like it's me and him on this job. We gotta take 'em for all they got. I pull this off, could be the break I need to get back inside.
Meet up with Tony and head to the docks. Do whatever you gotta do to those weapons!

Tony: OK, listen Joey. This'll go a lot smoother if we do it nice'n quiet.

[Joe throws a grenade.]

Thug: What the fuck... Oh, shit!

Joe: Great. Looks like we're doin' this the hard way.

Tony: That looks like the last of ‘em. Ok, I’m gonna go start up the train. You get the main gate open and get rid of the blocks under the train wheels. Hey, Joe! See that big fuckin' gate over there. Open it up already!

[They steal a train and go to a striptease bar.]

Tony: Nice goin, Joey. Tell ya what after we unload this shit, let's hit the town. I wanna introduce ya to a friend o' mine.

Joe: ...so now Vito's in the big house, and I gotta look over my shoulder every two seconds.

Eddie: Yeah, yeah, I heard about that. But hey - Tony vouched for ya and ya done good tonight, so I tell ya what - ya keep up the good work, you keep your nose clean and I'll talk to the fellas... See what we can do about gettin' ya a pass.

Joe: A pass? Whataya mean?

Eddie: A pass. Means ya won’t have to worry about the Clemente guys no more. What do ya say?

[Joe agrees.]

Eddie: Alright, let's drink to it!

OLD MAN'S PERILSEdit

Giuseppe: Joe, thank God you are here. Three of my best customers pulled a big job that went bad. I just found out the cops are looking for them and I worry they will catch them soon. It is very risky for me to be on the street right now. Can you warn them? Joe, I've known these customers for years. They are like family. Do this as a favor for me, please.
Warn Giuseppe's three friends.

A LESSON IN MANNERSEdit

Eddie: Joe, got a little here. Seems some fuck got a little too hands on with my number one girl at the cathouse last night. Scared her so bad she's refusin' to go to work. I ain't got time for this domestic shit, Joe. I want ya' to head to this fuck's place today, and make sure he understands the rules, Don’t go doin’ nothin' too crazy though, guys one of our best customers.
Go to that little fuck's house and teach him some manners!

SEND A MESSAGEEdit

Eddie: Joe, looks like the DA is getting fuckin' greedy again. Sonnavabitch turned down this month's payoff, has the balls to say it ain't enough. That asshole just bought a new car with our fuckin' money and this is what I get. I want you to find the little shit's ride and leave a message under the hood. Harry'll set you up. Just remember Joe, I want him scared, not dead. And I want it done now!
Leave surprise in that greedy sonnavabitch's car.

GUNRUNNINGEdit

Eddie: Just got my hands on a big score of guns I gotta move on, and I could use another guy. Tony's been right about you so far, so I'm thinkin' of cuttin' you in. There's a delivery of guns waitin' in Riverside that I need you to taker care of fast. You get the goods, then sell 'em quick to the local dealers. Don't fuck this up, and there'll be a nice cut in it for ya'.
Grab the gun shipment for Eddie and move the goods around town.

CHARLIE'S CAREdit

Giuseppe: Joe, I cannot thank you enough. My friends and I... we owe you. But there is still a small problem. My friends, they borrowed a car from Charlie for their job. The car needs to get back to Charlie but not if the cops are looking for it. Can you help me on this? I will make it worth your time.
Get that car back to Charlie. Make sure it's legal first.

STOLEN GOODSEdit

Eddie: Joe, some fuck just hit one of our armored trucks before we got a chance to unload the guns. Had to be an inside job. I don't need this bullshit right now. I don't care what you do or who you gotta kill, but you get our guns back, now!
Find the pricks that stole Eddie's guns. Get them baсk!

BOMB UNDER THE SEATEdit

Giuseppe: Joe, a customer came in today and offered me a good deal on his car. Cars are usually not my thing, but this deal is too good to pass and the guy desperately needs the cash. Can you take the car to Charlie and sell it? You know cars better than I do and I trust you will get us a fair deal. Of course, you will get a good cut from the profits. Be careful, Joe. There's something„. funny about this guy. He was anxious to give me the car.
Drive the car to Charlie to sell. Be careful, this deal seems too good to be true.

CAN'T STOP ME NOWEdit

Charlie: Got a little situation here Joe. Did a little extra body work on a car as a special order. Rigged the brakes so they would give out after a few days. Problem is some dumb grease monkey here gave the car to the wrong guy. But there's some folk' we know that ain’t gonna be happy if that car ain't here when they need it. I need you to get it back. If you're lucky, the brakes will still work fine. But hey, way you drive, it's not like you use the things anyway.
Steal that car back for Charlie. Careful with those brakes!

SUPERMARKETEdit

Eddie got a line on some big money coming out of on of the fuck are they called again... supermarkets. You know, the big deli’s the girls hang out in. These gills musta spent a shitload there 'cause he said there's gonna be a big cash transfer, biggest he's seen all year. Tony and me gotta get down there and grab it. I figure this is gonna be easy money. Couple of pissed off broads and screaming kids, how hard can it be?

Joe: Who the fuck brings a Tommy to the grocery store?

[Joe and Tony kill every cop in the supermarket and catch the owner.]

Tony: C'mere yo little bastard... Where's the key to the safe!? Better start talkin' while you can.

[While Tony beats up the supermarket owner, the building is surrounded by police.]

Loudspeaker: You in the supermarket - This is the Empire Bay Police Department come out with your hands in the air.

Tony: Shit Joe, keep 'em busy. Almost done here…

[Joe starts shooting at the coming cops...]

Loudspeaker: This is the Empire Bay Police Department. Drop your weapons and come out immediately!

Tony: (to the owner) Hey, I can do this all fuckin' day. Just give us the damn key and we can all go home. What do you enjoy bein' a punchin' bag?!

The Owner: I ain't giving you shit!

Tony: Hey, it's your funeral.

Loudspeaker: This is your last warning. Drop the guns and come on out!

The Owner: Ok, ok... umfp... Alright! Alright, that's enough… Cough!

Tony: Bout fuckin' time. Now let's go! We better get outta here, Joe. I don't think these are the regular cops. Shit. Unless ya brought your gas mask, that means we gotta go.

[They run out of the administration office and get into a car standing on the podium. Breaking through the shop window, they leave.]

Tony: Hahahaha, FLICK YOU!

Joe: Yeah!!

[Joe arrives at the secret place of the Falcone family where someone is being tortured.]

Carlo Falcone: Tell Rocco to come see me if he talks.

[He leaves.]

Eddie: It ain't like I'm squeamish or nothin'. I, I, I just don't wanna ruin another good suit. You're not havin ‘this one ya...

[Joe enters.]

Eddie: Hey, look who's here.

[Rocco comes out in his apron with blood all over him.]

Rocco: Ah, fuck... FUCK! God dammit. How many times I gotta tell ya? How many times!! Ya buy the good pliers. Not this cheap piece of shit! Who's this?

Eddie: This is Joe. The guy I was tellin' ya about.

Rocco: Yeah, right. How ya doin', Joe. My guys, Eddie and Balls they told me you done some good work for us. Listen I got some more jobs for you now. You call these off, I'll have a discussion with that cocksucker Gurino for you. Sound good to you?

Joe: Yeah sure.

Rocco: Alright excuse us now would ya. Me and this shithead got work to do.

[He and Eddie are leaving.]

Joe: Alright see you fellas later.

Rocco: (to Eddie) C'mon let's go. You're diggin' the damn hole.

GREASEBALLS' ARENAEdit

Charlie: Joe! Some fucks broke in here last night and ran off with a roadster. Had to be that prick greaser I just shit-canned. I've seen what those fuckers do with these things, Joe. When they're done racin' it, car wont even be good for parts. That car-ain't mine Joe. Belongs to someone with a lot more juice than me and you. You get it back for me in one piece and Ill take care of you big time. But Joe, I ain’t lookin' for a bloodbath here, I just want my car back. Try not to kill someone for a change then.
Beat the Greasers at their own game and get back that car!

HIT CONTRACTEdit

Rocco: Alright Joe, got somethin’ for ya' that's a little more… delicate. Got word one of our guys' is lookin' to get himself promoted. Sonnavabitch is ready to make a move on Falcone. I need this asshole dead, today. Guy is well liked, don't think anyone, even Falcone will believe it. You take him out, but you make sure it don't get back to anyone, especially me. I got somethin' special for ya' to pull off the job. And Joe, you better not fucking miss.
Use the sniper rifle to send Rocco’s message.

BET ON THATEdit

Rocco: Okay Barbaro, let's see if you're as good as they say. We got some two-bit bookie thinks he can run a side racket under our nose and not pay us our cut. Last mistake hell ever make. I need you to find this fuck and send a message to the rest of our guys. You find him, you kill him, then you take out his entire crew! Pull this off, come back and see me. Don't, and you’ll be prayin' for Luca's gentle touch when I'm through with you.
Find this lyin' fuck. Take out him and his entire crew!

PIECE OF CAKEEdit

Rocco: Alright Joe, you done good. Looks like Balls and Eddie got it right for a change. Got a van I need picked up in the Uptown parkin' lot. This thing's got some important cargo Falcone wants delivered to him now. I need someone solid on this who ain’t gonna fuck up. Guess that's you. Get the van and bring it back, but make sure you don’t draw any heat on us. When you're through, see me about ham' that talk with Gurino for ya'.
Get to the Uptown parking lot and deliver Rocco's van to Falcone!

CATHOUSEEdit

These last couple of jobs have been a real pain in the ass. Somethin' ain't addin' up. need to get down to the cathouse, have a talk with Rocco and Eddie. Plus I'm dyin' for a drink.
Head to the cathouse for a drink. You've earned it!

Eddie: Hey, Joe.

Joe: Hey, fellas.

Rocco: So how'd it go?

Joe: I wasn't no picnic I'll tell yo that. I got fuckin' ambushed.

Rocco: Alright, alright. We'll talk about it later. Excuse me for a minute, would ya, fellas.

[Rocco goes to his office and nodding to the guard at the entrance. The guard nods back.]

Eddie: Joe, why don’t ya go get us another round.

Joe: You got it.

[Joe's going to the bar for drinks. In that very moment Rocco and his men leave the office and start shooting. Carlo Falcone is shot in the shoulder. ]

Rocco: Finish ‘em off.

Eddie: That son of a bitch... I fuckin' knew it! (to Joe) Kill these fucks! I'll take care of Carlo. Get rid of these guys.

Rocco: Fuck you!

Eddie: Joe! Let's go. We gotta take these guys out. C'mon ya fucks! Yeah, how'd that feel. They're blocking the entrance! Shit! We gotta move, now! Through the dressin' room! C'mon let's go! Hey! What are ya waiting for, Joe! Alright, let's split up! You want the stage or the door! See ya soon. Try not to get killed huh? Don't let 'em get away! Fuck! This was my favorite fuckin' whorehouse too...

[They're coming out of the building.]

Eddie: Come on, Joe, we're goin' after ‘em.

[They get in the car and drive away.]

Eddie: Alright, get in there and take care of 'em.

Joe: You ain't even gonna help?!

Eddie: Somebody's gotta stay here in case more of 'em show up. Look, you take care of this, and I'll take care of you. You have my word. Now get movin'.

[Joe enters Rocco's secret hiding place. It looks like it's the same construction site where Joe and Vito will be tortured in chapter 14 of the original game - Stairway to Heaven.]

Rocco’s Thug: Kill this fat fuck!

[Joe starts climbing the stairs to the top, killing Rocco's men.]

Thug: Come get some asswipe!

Thug: Uhh, shit... I don't wanna die, please!

Thug: Oh, no!

Thug: No, please, I got a family!

Thug: Don't let him through!

Thug: Let's go! Take him down!

Thug: God dammit somebody kill him already!

[At the top of the construction site, Joe finds Rocco.]

Rocco: Big mistake, asshole. If you had any idea what fucking Carlo's gonna do…

[Joe is pointing his gun at him. Meanwhile, Eddie quietly drinks whiskey in his car when suddenly Rocco's body falls on his car’s hood. He and Joe are heading out to meet Carlo Falcone. Luca's there, too. Joe smiles and shows him his middle finger.]

THE END

Original game:

Mafia II

If you like Mafia II, try these scripts:
Yakuza 0
Uncharted 4: A Thief's End
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.