(The game starts with an animated intro. Through pencil sketches the game tells us what has happened so far. Against this background, we hear the voice of our old arms dealer friend.)
[Marcus] So you want to hear a story, eh? A tale of adventure across the stars? Ha! Come, listen to old Marcus. Have I got a story for you! My tale begins here on this backwater planet called Pandora. Some say it is a wasteland of greed and violence—and it is! But if you've got skills to pay the bills, gahaha... Pandora is FULL of opportunity! Vault Hunters. They brave the merciless Borderlands in search of secret alien treasure. My father told me tales of Vault hunting when I was but a little Marcus boy—and now, I tell you. So, you ask, what treasures do the Vaults hide? Fame? Wealth? Power? Or maybe nonsense like “charity” or “family” - I don't know. Use your imagination. Whatever the prize, a Vault Hunter must have the determination to seize victory from the jealous hands of fate! Now, my story is about a very special band of Vault Hunters, who have only just started their journey. They are bold, and hungry! Maybe old Marcus tells you this story because they remind me of you. Just a little. Don't let it go to your head. These new Vault Hunters are answering a Siren's call. Her name is Lilith, and she is a hero! Savior of Pandora a dozen times over! Lilith is recruiting a team to hunt for a map—a map that leads to Vaults all over the galaxy! But she is not the only one. Dark forces have gripped the Borderlands—a new threat, unlike anything the galaxy has seen before! Story begins right here on Pandora, with our new Vault Hunters, their Siren leader and most importantly, me…
(Four new hunters find a flyer inviting them to join the ranks of Crimson Riders. They come to the specified place, but find nothing but a crowd of regular raiders. Our hunters shows them what they're made of. The names of each of them appear on the screen.)
FL4K as Beastmaster
Moze as the Gunner
Amara as the Siren
Zane Flint as HIMSELF
(After the hunters kill all the raiders, Marcus arrives at the base on an armored bus.)
[Marcus] Ah, it's a beautiful day! Full of opportunity! So, who's coming?
(We're allowed to choose one of the hunters. I'll assume you chose Amara as your character. She gets on Marcus' bus and leaves.)
[Marcus] New Vault Hunter, eh? Name's Marcus. You picked a helluva time to join the Crimson Raiders, heh-heh.
(The image of a girl with fiery red hair appears in Amara's head.)
[Lilith] Good to see someone survived the attack. I'm Lilith. Commander of the Crimson Raiders. Those bandits you fought are part of a cult hunting for the Vault Map, but you and I are gonna find it first. For now, my scout is waiting for you up ahead. Good luck.
[Amara] That voice… was that another Siren?
[Marcus] This is your stop, Vault Hunter.
[Amara] Finally! I’m itching for a fight.
[Marcus] Try to stay alive. I'd hate to lose a new customer, heh-heh.
(Amara's getting off the bus.)
[Marcus] And welcome to Pandora!
From the Ground UpEdit
(A funny robot that looks like a dumpster with a camera in the center, hands on the sides and riding on one wheel approaches her.)
[Claptrap] Hey! You must be the new recruit! I am a CL4P-TP Steward bot but you can just call me... General Claptrap of the Crimson Raiders! What's your name?
[Amara] Surely you know who I am. The Tiger of Partali? Crime-fighter? Warrior of peace? Gch. It’s Amara.
[Claptrap] Thanks! I’ll pre-order your tombstone just in case. Now, those jerks who tried to murder you are the Children of the Vault, a bandit cult who follow their creepy leaders with blind devotion. Which reminds me—if you’re going to obey my every beck and call, you'll need an ECHO device!
(He's giving Amara something like a book with a screen.)
[Claptrap] The ECHO-3. Slightly more powerful than the ECHO-2, and twice as expensive. Besides, the ECHO-2 had a tiny issue with spontaneous combustion, so they rebranded those as grenades. Now listen up, recruit. Lilith ordered us to take over a Children of the Vault propaganda center. Time to show those culty weirdos that no one messes with the Crimson Raiders! Follow me, recruit! TO GLORY! Before we wreak our righteous vengeance, you'll need to register your ECHO at this Quick-Change! Once we defeat the cult, I'll be famous! And when I'm signing autographs, I need you looking sharp while defending me from my legions of fans-slash-stalkers!
(After Amara makes changes to her appearance, a classic license agreement appears in front of her as if she were installing a software.)
[Claptrap] Aaah, a user agreement… Boooring! Don’t worry. Corporations have your best interest in heart. Except DAHL… and Hyperion… Aaaaand… nevermind.
(The window doesn't give you a choice - either accept or accept.)
[Claptrap] The propaganda center is this way! A locked gate?! No! This can be happening. The entire mission is ruined! Think, Claptrap, think! You're brave! And powerful! And people always do what you tell them to! That's it! Recruit, get that gate open! That's an order from your superior officer.
(Amara's pulling a lever nearby.)
[Claptrap] You did it! Best recruit EVER! But don't get cocky. Jump, recruit! The propaganda center is up ahead. Those cultists have been killing Crimson Raiders left and right. They totally suck skag balls! But I've got a fool-proof plan to kick their culty asses! I hid a weapons cache nearby. Stay quiet and follow my every move. It's STEALTH time!
(Amara starts acting like an idiot, twisting and tumbling and singing.)
[Claptrap] Stealthy-time! Gonna walk over here, and gonna turn! And I'm gonna go over here, super-duper quiet! Tip-toein’ over here, gonna spin around, I'm so—oof! So quiet! So super-duper-duper-duper QUIET! Oh, that was a bit too loud! Stealth-slide! Perfect! Once we complete our mission, Lilith HAS to promote me to Super-General! Stand back!
(Amara pushes a lever and blows up a small pile of garbage.)
[Amara] So we're throwing stealth out the window?
[Claptrap] Relax. On Pandora. it's actually super weird if something's NOT exploding! Now take your gun, recruit! You're gonna need it. These guns, like myself, aren't beholden to their primary function! I can dance! And SING! (singing) And some guns now include an alternate shooting mode! Try it out!
(Amara picks up a pistol.)
[Claptrap] Follow me, recruit! Wait here. I'll talk my way in become their king, and then you'll surprise slaughter them in cold blood. Watch and learn, recruit!
(He's screaming into the microphone.)
[Claptrap] Helllooooo? Anyone there?
[Shiv] This is Shiv, holy influencer of the Children of the Vault! What do you want, Crapbot?
[Claptrap] Hello, bloodthirsty maniac. It is I, Claptrap, slayer of the Destroyer and Super-General of the Crimson Raiders. We have you completely surrounded. Open the gates now, and perhaps I will be merciful!
[Shiv] Uh... yeah. Let me think about that.
[Claptrap] They might call themselves Children of the Vault, but they're still bandits, and bandits are incredibly stupid!
[Shiv] Okay, we're going to surrender! Please don't kill us, Crapbot.
[Claptrap] That's what I thought. Open the doors immediately for your new king.
[Shiv] Easy, easy. I'm, uh... I'm coming out. Just wait. Right. There!
[Claptrap] We did it... I did it! Another victory for the Crimson Raiders.
(Something's starting to pull him toward the gates...)
[Claptrap] Hey, I feel funny. What's... happening to me? Gah! Whoa-aagh! Ow! My exhaust port.
(It sticks to a huge magnet used for picking metal trash.)
[Shiv] Kill the heretics! In the name of the Calypsos! Crapbot, you're gonna be my new chamberpot! I'm gonna poop in your head! Gahaha!
[Claptrap] NOOO! RECRUUUUUIT!
[Lilith] I know Claptrap can be a little... Claptrap, but he's still one of us. You're gonna have to save him. I'll be there soon.
[Claptrap] This could save your life! Then you owe me a life debt! Use this health! I need you alive to save me! Recruit! There's no way your supple and delicate body can survive a showdown with Shiv unprotected! Look around for a shield! There might be a shield in that special red chest over there! You got a shield! Now you're invincible! Not really, but it just might keep Shiv from killing you in one hit Now let's get you in there, recruit!
(Amara kills all the dwarves and psychos who attack her on the orders of their cunning boss.)
[Claptrap] Hey, Shiiiiv! All your dumb friends are dead! I challenge you to a trial by combat! But because I'm stuck to this magnet, my loyal champion shall vanquish you in my stead.
(Amara enters the building at the far end of the fan base. That's where the leader of this crazy get-together lives. But not for long.)
[Shiv] Come on in, heretic! I haven't met my sacrifice quota for the day! I'm gonna sharpen my blade on your spine!
(The leader appears to be a huge psychopath with one big and one small hand. He has a cleaver in his big hand and a screwdriver in his little hand.)
SHIV. BROUGHT A KNIFE TO A GUN FIGHT.
[Amara] Knocked out in the first round. Hnh. I thought Pandora was going to give me a challenge!
(Amara gets her first level and abilities. Lilith is telepathically speaking to her again.)
[Lilith] Score one for the Crimson Raiders. You and Claptrap secure the area. I'm on my way.
[Claptrap] Recruit? Are you dead? If not get me down! The controls are on the second floor!
(Amara finds the lever and Claptrap falls to the ground.)
[Claptrap] You did it! I'm sa—aghh!
(Amara jumps to him and resurrects his metal ass.)
[Claptrap] Wow. I did it! I single-handedly took on the COV and sent them packing! Now all that's left is to signal Lilith that the mission is complete!
(He shoots a beam of light at the sky. Lilith jumps down from somewhere above and lands on fire wings like a deity.)
LILITH. COMMANDER OF THE CRIMSON RIDERS.
[Claptrap] Lilith! I can safely report that Operation Trojan Claptrap was a complete success! I did it all by myself!
[Lilith] I’ll bet. Well, the cult's destroyed every other Crimson Raider stronghold. So this'll have to do for now. So, what's your name, killer?
[Amara] I am Amara. Nice tattoos, Siren sister. You must be the voice in my head.
[Lilith] Yeah about that... not the weirdest thing you're gonna see on Pandora. But seriously—thanks for answering my call. We might not have the numbers, but with a badass like you, we’ve got a fighting chance. Welcome to the Crimson Raiders. Pandora’s a dangerous place—that grenade mod will come in handy. You should equip it before we get started. Let me know when you’re ready.
[Amara] I’m always looking for new ways to take my enemies apart.
[Lilith] All right.
[Claptrap] Hey, do you hear bloodthirsty screaming?
[Lilith] More COV! Let's see what you got, recruit.
[Claptrap] There' too many of them! We're doomed. Doomed!
[Bandit Zealot] It's the Firehawk! The God-Queen wants her head!
[Lilith] Nice fighting, killer. All right. We've got a foothold. Maybe things are turning our way. Come on, killer, you're with me. Let me catch you up. A while back we found a map. Led to Vaults all over the Borderlands. Dream come true, right? This way. I was so focused on finding the map. I didn't notice that Pandora was changing. The bandit clans used to just murder each other for fun. Now they're all under one banner. A cult.
[Amara] Ah. The Children of the Vault
[Lilith] Right. Come on, let's take a look around. Their leaders are the Calypso Twins, and their followers worship them like gods. They're convinced the map will lead them to something called the Great Vault--and they’ve been slaughtering anyone who gets in their way. We heard a rumor that a bandit clan found an alien artifact in the desert. Could be the map. That's what we're here to find out. Locked. Heh... not gonna keep a Siren out, though.
(She disappears and moves on the other side of the door.)
[Claptrap] It's a good thing I can't feel boredom because YOWZA! I stand guard! (karate noises)
[Lilith] Perfect. What do we have here?
(She presses a few buttons on the keyboard and a video message is displayed on screen.)
[Mouthpiece] Shiv! The Sun Smasher clan has recovered the Sacred Vault Map. Send our followers to invite the Sun Smashers into our holy family. And hurry. The Twin Gods grow hungry.
[Lilith] The map! I know it. We have to beat them to the Sun Smashers. I’ll open the gate. Come on, this way. I'm gonna set up camp and gather some intel on the Calypsos. Find the Sun Smasher warchief and do whatever it takes to get that map.
[Claptrap] Seems like you guys got this! Good luck! I'm gonna... go hang out in some trash.
(Amara hits the Crimson Riders base, which is just a poor man’s hut.)
[Lilith] So what re we working with hero? Well, this place kinda sucks, but it's all we got at the moment. Not the first time the Raiders have had to start from scratch. It's no Sanctuary... hope Ellie gets that ship working soon.
[Marcus] My vending machine is broken?! Gahh. How am I supposed to profit off this war-torn—I mean, heh, sell premium weapons to heroic Vault Hunters such as yourself! Lets fix my vending machine! And by that I mean:</b> you fix it!
(Amara finds out that the power supply junction box has been damaged.)
[Marcus] Damn psychos. Always scavenging to make their buzz-axes and mat bicycles. You'll need to replace that circuit with something. Hmm. You know, some skags are chock-full of electricity. Got me one of their spines. Better get used to doing things like this if you want to survive on Pandora! Oh, and if you're feeling extra gruesome, you could also try getting a human spine from one of those filthy bandits! That could work.
(On the way to the target, Amara hears Lilith's voice in her head.)
[Lilith] I like to know who I'm working with what made you decide to be a Vault Hunter.
[Amara] I made my name beating down gangsters and taking Out Tyrants. I've won every fight I've ever been in, and I'm looking for a real challenge. Opening a Vault is the ultimate fight, right?
[Lilith] Heh. The Vaults attract all kinds. Just remember, the power inside them is hard to resist. It's up to us to make sure it doesn't end up in the wrong hands. Trust me, I've seen it happen.
[Marcus] Ah, you found a human spine. You'll fit right in on Pandora, heh-heh-heh. Give it a try.
(On the way back, Amara hears somebody's voice...)
[Unknown] Hello?! Somebody help me! I would prefer not to die like this! Save me!
(The voice belongs to a man hanging by his legs with a thick beard. He's wearing a rag that looks like a cape. Apart from his dirty underwear, he's not wearing any more clothes.)
[Vaughn] Yo. Little help?
VAUGHN. BANDIT LYYYYYYFE!
[Vaughn] Shoot me down will ya? I like to hang, but not like this. Not like this!
(Vaughn) Shoot me down will ya? I like to hang, but not like this. (screams) Not like this! Ah, my briefs are… ugh. Whoa, ho-ho, hey, yeah... Uh, foot... Work... good. Nice to meet you.
[Amara] I came to see Pandora s legendary half-naked bandits, clearly. Also, I just joined up with Lilith and the Crimson Raiders.
[Vaughn] You're with the Firehawk? Oh man. I used to run with Lilith back in the day! But y'know, now I'm a bandit warchief. Heh-heh-heh... go Sun Smashers. I mean, at least I used to be warchief. Until y know, my clan found that stupid alien junk. I warned em not to mess with that crap. but what do they do? They tie me up and take it to the Calypso Twins. Not cool, bros. Well, we should probably get out of here before the COV come back so... Where are Lilith and the Raiders hangin' these days?
[Amara] A former COV propaganda center. I beat down every last one of them.
[Vaughn] Now we're talkin’! C’mon, let's get out of here. I'll lead the way—even though I'm totally unarmed. Can't let em know you're afraid and totally defenseless, bro. Bandit life! So you took over that COV propaganda center all by your widdle self?
[Amara] I did. Barely broke a sweat.
[Vaughn] I am impressed. Vaughn Aw. man. The Children of the Vault Totally trashed my camp! Like that is not where that bloody skull should be! It is completely ruining the vibe! Oh, I know a shortcut. This way. Ugh, skag central, am I right? Y’know. I'm gonna let you take care of them. Only thing I'm packin’ right now is not somethin' I'm gonna be on a skag.
(Amara kills a pack of skags.)
[Marcus via ECHO] There's one of those shock skags now! Get its spine!
[Vaughn] Coast is clear! Nice! Lets go moot up with the Firehawk! Those Calypsos wont stop until every bandit on Pandora worships them like gods. Bandits don't need gods! We worship a hot fire and a charred piece of meat. There are rules! I'm sure Lilith'll be glad to see me! We're fight, bro. Super tight. Like, bro tight. It's a thing. Pandora’s in trouble. I can feel it in my bones. Or maybe that's just the harsh desert wind on my bare sun-dappled chest.
(Amara leads a talkative bandit to the base.)
[Vaughn] Ohh sweet digs! Fortified, well-ventilated-y’know throw some bloody Skulls up on the walls and you've got yourself a nice cozy place here, friend!
[Lilith] Vaughn? What the hell are you doing here?
[Vaughn] Heh-heya. Lilith! Former warchief of the Sun Smashers, reporting for duty! [nervous laughter] Go Crimson Raiders!
[Lilith] Heh, it's good to see you. Vaughn The Raiders will take all the help we can get. So, Vault Hunter—did you find the map?
[Amara] Map wasn't there, so I took this bandit instead.
[Vaughn] Map? Uh... If you're talkin' about that alien junk, my clan is bringing it to the Calypso Twins as an offering!
[Lilith] We can't let the Calypsos got that map. But the Holy Broadcast Center is a long ride. Vault Hunter, you're gonna need some wheels. My friend Ellie runs the Catch-A-Ride. Go introduce yourself, and she'll hook you up.
(Amara goes back to the broken box.)
[Marcus] Okay, now install the spine.
(She does what she's told, and the spine burns down right away.)
[Marcus] Gahahaha! That bandit spine's not actually gonna work, gaha. I just wanted some payback because those bastards broke my machine! Still, I appreciate your dedication to capitalism! Now find one of those shock skags and get their spine. That should work. For real this time. Ah, very good! Bring it back to the machine. And be quick about it! Well done, Vault Hunter! You now have access to my vast array of murderous wares in a new convenient location. And, as an added thank you for dishing out some vengeance on those filthy bandits, let me open up my secret stash for you. Who says payback doesn't pay, eh? Good hunting!
(Nearby our cheerful robot is crying about something.)
[Claptrap] Please help me! Recruit! You have to help me! ...I LOST MY ANTENNA! Waganghhghghh!
[Amara] Aww. It's okay, little buddy. I can help.
[Claptrap] Yes! I'm gonna be bigger and badder than ever! But this is an important fashion decision. Bring me replacement antenna options, recruit! OPTIONS, I say! Go forth! Even though finding me a new antenna is vitally important, you can do this mission on the SIDE. And you'll probably want to get a vehicle for this one!
(Amara’s returning to Crimson Riders base.)
[Lilith] Vaughn, what the hell? You know I've been looking for that map. Why didn't you bring it to me?
[Vaughn] Woah-woah-woah-hohoho, okay, okay. I see what happened here. Lot me explain while the map slip into the hands of culty psychopaths, and now the whole galaxy is in danger.
[Lilith] Yeah. That's what I was saying.
[Vaughn] Okay, same page! You know what this calls for? Apology push-ups.
[Lilith] You don't have to… ugh.
(He actually doing push-ups.)
[Vaughn] Oh, yeah! C'mon!
(Amara walks into Ellie's garage. That's where she's torturing some bandit.)
[Ellie] Now remind me. What'd ya say you was gonna do to my gal-pal Lil?
[Bandit Zealot] God-Queen Tyreen will drink soup from the skull of the Great Heretic! Aghh!
[Ellie] My bad! Finger slipped. Hah! Heh-heh. Hehe. (to Amara) Oh, howdy! Didn't see ya there!
ELLIE. DESERT ROSE, THORNY FOR ROCKETS.
[Ellie] I heard ya'll were in the neighborhood. Good to see of Lil found some new blood! I'm Ellie. Hey. What are ya staring at, hon?
[Amara] You look hard to knock down. Could've used you during training.
[Ellie] Ain't you a heart-breaker. Lil said you was looking for a vehicle. Damn cultists stole all mine. Mind stealing me one back? Then I'll set ya up with the Catch-A-Ride. And thanks for comin' by!
[Claptrap via ECHO] Recruit! You're near a dead Claptrap unit! Those are all over—I'm the last of my product line! I need you to salvage their parts, so I can build a new friend!
(Amara hijacks an Outrunner and drive it to Ellie.)
[Ellie] Just park yer car there, hon. All right! Now register with the Catch-A-Ride so you can digistruct a new one whenever you want—just in case you got a Pandora flat, meanin' your car explodes. Got a rocket launcher I've been testin'. All yours, sweet thang. Just make sure you equip it. All set! Happy hunting. You tell Lil our ship's almost ready. Soon as she finds that map, we re good to go!
[Lilith via telepathy] Ellie got you rollin’? She always does. Now head to the Holy Broadcast Center and find that map.
[Vaughn via ECHO] “Twin Gods”! From what I hear. Tyreen Calypso's the star of the show. Her brother Troy runs the cult's propaganda. P.S. they both suck. Just sayin'. Ugh. I hate the Calypso Twins so much! They conned the bandits of Pandora with promises of death cars and meat storms and blood saunas—good stuff, right? I mean, even my clan fell for it! Gullible idiots. Now. I've never seen the Calypsos myself, but they must be the most terrifying, bloodthirsty psychopaths Pandora's ever seen. I mean, look—my clan only accepted me as a leader after I killed a guy with just my abs, so what it takes to unite all the clans together. You'd need like... a twenty-pack. Eighteen, bare mins. I know my clan betrayed me, but if the Calypsos mess with my Sun Smashers then we have got a blood feud on our hands! Which would be awesome! Been a while since I got a good old fashioned blood feud going! Four and oh, baby!
(Amara orders an Outrunner...)
[Ellie] Armor? Check. Guns? Check. Speed? You bet yer ass! Catch-A-Ride!
(Suddenly Amara gets a call from some woman we know from the second game.)
[Tannis via ECHO] You are nearing a historical marker of Typhon DeLeon. The first Vault Hunter. Sadly, he disappeared decades ago while seeking the Eridian homeworld. I am eager to acquire any information Typhon DeLeon left behind.
(Finally, Amara arrives at the broadcast center.)
[Mouthpiece via ECHO] Welcome to the Holy Broadcast Center. Our daily livescream will be starting shortly, with a special guest! Give your offerings now so you can join our elite, Eridium-tier chat for behind-the-scenes murder and mayhem! And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for! Let loose your bloodlust roar for our God-Queen, the First Sister, Tyreen Calypso!
[Tyreen via ECHO] What up my bandit orphans? God-Queen Tyreen, comin’ at you live from the HBC We're streamin' you're screamin’, and were all preparin’ to get into the Great Vault! Got some new converts today, and guess what? They brought us the sacred Vault Map! If that doesn't earn them a special place in the family, I don't know what does. But first, I wanna get real for sec. You’ve all accepted me, even though I wasn't born a bandit. My first words weren't blood feud or a ribcage spelunker. But now we're all family. And family is forever. We'll start the ceremony after a few quick shout-outs. Stay bloodthirsty!
(Amara's starting to kill.)
[Tyreen via ECHO] Scabrazor55, my lovely! Me and Troy got the shirts you sent, and we'll send a pic of us wearing them on the show just as... soon as we get the torsos out. Props to Crudguzzler! You had the guts to tattoo my name directly onto your eyeballs, and I'm... guessing you're blind now, but still, wow! Such dedication to the cause! Shout out to the follower who left me that skag tongue necklace! It's... surrounded by a halo of flies and I just absolutely adore it! Very special thanks to our followers Brittletooth and Natch. Your recipe for live-roasted Crimson Raider, armor and all, was—mmh!—to die for! And the footage of the meal! Just... wow. Make sure to leave room for a Vault Thief or two, ya crazy kids. Heyyyy. Meatstreak3r—ooh. E is a 3, that's nice—huge props for your gi-normous donation this week! All take us a while to sort through those arms and engine parts, but it is SO worth it! When we open the Great Vault, you'll be us awhile to sort through those arms and engine parts, but it is SO worth it! When we open the Great Vault, you'll be there! And the winner of the raffle is... Scumcrank! Scumcrank, you’ve won a lifetime supply of skin pizzas, courtesy of the Bloodblender Clan! Sling Mouthpiece an ECHO for details. All right, time to welcome the Sun Smashers into our family! We'll post the vid later along with some new Let's Flays! Signing off for now. Don't forget to like follow, and obey.
[Mouthpiece via ECHO] Another perfect livescream from our infallible God-Queen Tyreen. The Holy Broadcast Center opens once again, to hear your sins and receive your skins!
(Amara buys some weapons in a vending machine.)
[Marcus] I've got bullets with your name on them! Well, wait, that came out wrong.
[Dr. Zed] Come on back the next time you're dyin'!
(Amara gets into a big room, which is both church and dance floor at the same time. Mouthpiece plays an electronic organ and then jumps to our heroine.)
[Mouthpiece] You... will... DIE!
MOUTHPIECE. SONIC DOOOOM!!
(Amara kills him in dynamic battle with electronic music on the background.)
[Amara] Va va, I knew I'd find the Vault Map. Gotcha.
(A huge hologram of two antagonists appears.)
[Tyreen] Vault Thief! Did you come all this way for that busted-ass map or are you just here to see me? Didn't know you were such a superfan! Well, ya missed the show. Oh, right. Bet you're all like. “What's up with those husks?” Well, it's a thing I do. Check out the screens.
(A video of Tyreen sucking blood out of a bandit appears on the screen.)
[Tyreen] So, I offered the Sun Smashers a place in our family, but they just wanted guns and cash. They betrayed the family. Oh! Then Troy said something great.
[Troy] Gods don't negotiate.
[Tyreen] "Gods don't negotiate!" I love it. Love it! Like I said that map is super busted, so go ahead and take it. I’ll swing by later to pick it up. You're my most loyal follower, Vault Thief. Ya just don't know it yet.
[Lilith via telepathy] I knew you'd find the map, killer. Bring it back, and don't let it out of your sight. I lost it once. I won't lose it again.
(Amara returns to the Crimson Riders base.)
[Lilith] I should've seen the COV coming. Vault Hunter—you really got the map?
[Amara] It's in good hands, Firehawk. Mine, to be precise.
[Lilith] Just Lilith is fine.
[Vaughn] You got the map? Nice! So... did you see any of my Sun Smashers? And why do you smell like dust and skin?
[Amara] Your clan was murdered by Tyreen Calypso. I was too late to stop her.
[Vaughn] Damn it! I never told them… I... NO! Sun Smashers never cry. If Tyreen Calypso wants a blood feud, she's got one! BLOOD FEUUUUD!
[Lilith] I knew the COV was dangerous. But it's even worse than I thought.
[Lilith] At least you got the map. I didn't think I'd ever see this thing again. It's not just a map. Though. We used this to open the other vaults on Pandora. Every Vault needs its key. Well, let's take a look. Been a long time. It's not charged. Let me take care of that. Damn... it's not working. Something's wrong. I should be able to charge it. We need help. There's only one person on this planet who knows how this Eridian Tech works. Patricia Tannis. She's got a dig site on the other side of the valley. Take the map to her. I’ll catch up when I can. Have to track down a few loose ends for our ship.
(Amara takes an Outrunner.)
[Ellie’s Recording] Don't use your dumb old legs. Get you some wheels!
(Once she receives the vehicle, she goes to Eridium dig site.)
[Tyreen via ECHO] Hey, superfan! You sure you picked the right team? I mean, I get it. We all grow up wanting to be Vault Hunters. But I’m not the follower like you. I’m a god. And my followers will do anything I ask. Uh, here! Quick demo! Hey you! Cut off your favorite leg!
[Psycho via ECHO] For Tyreen! GHRAMAAAACH!
[Tyreen] I didn't say bo—he cut off both. Ugh, now he's trying to stand on his stumps. One sec.
[Psycho via ECHO] Hrgh-YAGHHHH!
(Tyreen kill the psycho with her powers.)
[Tyreen] Mmmmm. They just taste better when they're afraid. What was my point? Oh. Right. My followers will die for me. And when it's your turn, I'll let you know. Now run along, superfan. Fix that map for me. Those Vaults are mine.
(Amara walks in on Eridium dig site.)
[Tannis] Hello, person trampling my valuable and irreplaceable dig site. May I help you?
[Amara] Tannis, I presume.
[Tannis] I am. You must be Lilith's new Vault Hunter. And you’ve found the map! I suppose congratulations are in order. That was it. Well? Let me take a look. While I examine this unimaginably complex and priceless alien artifact, you may wait outside and steal anything not nailed down. I need to use you as a sounding board for my hypotheses. Please do not confuse it for conversation. As I suspected. Tyreen Calypso is a Siren. She seems to feed on the lifeforce of others. And clearly her cult food source for now. The Vaults hold unimaginable power, you know. But I shudder to think of what might happen if the Calypso Twins or reach them first.
(A heart-wrenching scream is heard.)
[Tannis] Do you hear screaming or am I having another one of my episodes?
[Amara] Uh huh! I’ll introduce them to my fists.
[Tyreen] Heya superfan, you fix the map yet? Just hand it over, and you can join our family—but wait, what's that? You don't want to? K, gave you a chance, real bummer.
[Troy] So long, Crimson Traitors!
[Tyreen] Troy's gon—heh. "Crimson Traitors", nice. Anyway, my brother's gonna broadcast your death on the ECHOnet!
[Troy] So don't, you know, say anything stupidly heroic. I’ll just dub over it.
[Tannis] Lilith! If you're listening, bandits are attacking my dig site, and it's not the sort of breakthrough I was hoping for!
[Lilith via telepathy] I'm on my way. Vault Hunter, don't let them anywhere near Tannis or that map. COV, incoming! We can't let them get the map! Keep fighting, Vault Hunter!
(Lilith comes down from the sky on fire wings.)
[Lilith] All right, killer. Let's take the rest out together. Defend the map!
(Together they kill all the attacking COV psychopaths.)
[Lilith] Tannis, are you okay?
[Tannis] No, but you're all still here in my personal space, so let's get on with it.
[Lilith] Tell me you got the map working.
[Tannis] I did what I could. Lilith, given my vast intellect but limited resources. Shall we give it a go? And I believe this should do it... Hmm… some data has been corrupted. It seems the map sustained significant damage. Hypotesis! Tyreen Calypso attempted to charge the map, but her powers only drained it further. Unfortunately, I can only make out a single planet. Promethea? Of course! Typhon DeLeon found the very first Vault there, you know.
[Lilith] Promethea... Good work, Tannis.
[Amara] Promethea-bound, are we?
[Lilith] Looks like it. We have to get to that Vault before the Calypsos. Ellie's been working on a ship for us. I take Tannis and the map there now. Meet you at the landing pad, Vault Hunter.
[Tannis] Oh, you know I abhor this, Lilith.
[Lilith] Just trying to keep my Eridian expert safe.
[Tannis] Do you know ANOTHER Eridian expert?
(They teleport to the landing pad.)
[Tyreen via ECHO] Usially when I step in crap, it comes off with a good wipe, but you? You’re kind of a clinger. Let me set things straight for you. That map, and every Vault on it is my birthright. You don't understand a thing about the Vaults, or what they're even for. I do. We're the Children of the Vault. It's a family thing.
(Amara is running to the launch pad.)
[Ellie] Whew! Thanks for the lift, Lil. It's finally happenin’, ain't it? After all these years.
[Lilith] Hell yeah. How's the ship looking?
[Ellie] Almost ready. All I need is some fuel and a new astronav chip.
[Lilith] Vault Hunter—can you help Ellie get the ship prepped? I'll start rounding up the Raiders and bring them on-board.
[Amara] Of course I can.
[Ellie] All right. Later, Lil.
[Lilith] Be ready for anything, Ellie. The Calypsos aren't gonna let us leave without a fight.
[Ellie] I got somethin' special for ya, VH! That vehicle over there's my biofuel rig. And it ain't picky as to the source. Just run over some bandits and skags to fill her up. Environmentally friendly, right? Hop on in, Vault Hunter. Now, if that rig gets a Pandora flat and busts out into holy hellfire, just come on back and I'll set ya up with another, sweet thang. Like I said, you just need to run over some bandits and skags and whatnot. See? Turns ‘em right into biofuel. I'm trying to expand the Catch-A-Ride franchise and corner the sustainable fuel business. I know it's messy, but the only resource Pandora's got in abundance anymore are bandits and skags. Use what the land gives ya, right? Halfway there. Vault Hunter. We'll have that spaceship fueled in no time! Let's top her off. Just a little more bio-fuel.
[Lilith via telepathy] I've almost got the whole crew on-board. As soon as you get that astronav chip, we're taking off.
[Tyreen via ECHO] I’m gettin’ this vibe that you don’t really get what we’re doing here. Let me learn ya real quick—see, my brother and I were born into a cage. Dad told us it was for our own good, that the rest of the universe was full of bandits that would tear us apart. And when we finally got free, it turned out he was right. Bandits as far as the eye could see. Bandits were the biggest untapped resource in the galaxy! There are billions of them across the borderlands. Human wreckage, left over from corporate wars. The’re broken, but we make them feel special, so they fight for us.And die for us. Because they finally have a place where they belong. A family. My family. The universe is theirs… as ling as they obey.
[Ellie via ECHO] Astronav chip should be nearby. We ain't gonna get all the way to Promethea without one.
[Amara] I found that astronav chip, Ellie.
[Ellie via ECHO] It's time! Ooh, I can't wait to leave Pandora! I’ve been here so long is in my bones, and that's a verified medical condition anywhere else ya go.
(Getting in the truck, Amara goes to the landing pad.)
[Claptrap via ECHO] Hustle up, everybody! Get on the ship! You heard the Commander! Scrub those decks. batten down the interns! We're leavin’ this parched armpit behind the stars our destination! Screw you, Pandora! You can't hurt us anymore!
[Lilith via ECHO] I'm headed to the ship. See you soon, killer.
[Claptrap via ECHO] You'll have to get under that thing somehow.
[Ellie via ECHO] Now come on back, and I'll get to refueling.
[Claptrap via ECHO] How low can you go? Pretty low, if you ask me.
(Finally, Amara returns to the landing pad. She's got everything she needs.)
[Ellie] One sec, I'll get to fueling. I can't believe we're going to Promethea! If’ll be good to see some new sights and lay some new lays. Gonna teach them city boys some things they only see in nature documentaries! She's fueled!
[Lilith] Ready to go, killer?
(Suddenly the landing pad is attacked and the door leading outwards is closed.)
[Claptrap] Just sprint at the opening and hit crouch! It's not that hard.
(Lilith stays one-on-one with Tyreen and Troy.)
[Tyreen] Firehawk. Just give me the map.
[Lilith] No. Way.
[Tyreen] Cool. Let's DO THIS!
(They're starting to fight. Troy catches the map and start filming what's happening on a flying webcam.)
[Troy] Ach—got it! Ohoohoohoo, this is gold!
(Lilith kicks the camera, teleports to him and hits him in the face.)
[Lilith] You're a Siren?
[Troy] Heh. Yeah… well... Runs in the family.
(Tyreen grabs her by the throat.)
[Tyreen] I'm the Siren. He's just a parasite. Literally. When we were born, our father had to cut him off me! Now I'm the only thing keeping him alive.
[Lilith] What are you... doing?!
[Tyreen] I can leech the power from any living thing. Even you, Firehawk. Legendary Vault Hunter. Slayer of the Destroyer. Firehawk. So many titles, so little impact!
(Lilith is losing her strength to fight back.)
[Tyreen] Well, I've taken your powers—might as well finish you off.
[Troy] Ngh… Ty… Tyreen!
(She throws Lilith to the ground and shares the power she suck out with her brother. Lilith is trying to reach the map with his last effort.)
[Troy] Ooooh! Uh-uh-uh. (kicks her) Man, you should’ve seen your face. You, you, you were like, “Oh, my powers! Boo-hoo!” Ty—Ty, c'mon! We're live in three, two...
[Tyreen] What is up, brothers and sisters? God-Queen Tyreen coming to ya live. We got something real special for ya today. Your number one, most requested murder! It's the Great Heretic herself:</b> the Firehawk. Well, look who got plucked! Smile!
(They're take a photo with barely alive Lilith.)
[Tyreen] Let's give this Firehawk thing a try! Where are my Eridium-tier followers at? Hah! Loving it! But that's not all! Our path to the Great Vault has been revealed. Next stop:</b> Promethea! Don't forget to like, follow, and obey!
(The camera's turning off.)
[Tyreen] Don’t feel bad, Lil. All legends have to die. You had a good run.—I guess? That's just something people say I don't really believe it.
[Troy] All right! Let's get out of here. I wanna see if Katagawa's good on his word. Leave the scraps to the dogs.
[Tyreen] Buh-bye, now. Thanks for the map! And your powers Till make sure to finish what you started. Later, Firehawk! Or whatever you are now.
(They're teleporting. Lilith is surrounded by Tyreen's hottest fans. Amara's running to the rescue.)
[Ellie via ECHO] It's an ambush! Rrgh, damn door's busted! Take the lift to the catwalk—I’ll try to get the door open.
[Lilith via telepathy] Vault... Hunter...
[Claptrap via ECHO] You'll have to get under that thing somehow. How low can you go? Pretty low. if you ask me. You can make it through! I believe in you just... stealth slide! Just sprint at the opening and hit crouch! It's not that hard.
[Ellie] I knew them COV sumbitches wouldn't let us leave Pandora without a fight. Well, they're gon' get it!
[Lilith] Vault Hunter help… me...
[Ellie] Got down there. VH! Lil needs us!
[Lilith] Vault Hunter... I can't.
[Ellie] Look what those bastards did to Lil. Kill 'em, VH! Help her up, VH! We got to get Lil to the ship. Get her to her feet. We gotta go before those cult bastards come back to finish her off.
(Amara kill the psychos and resurrects Lilith.)
[Amara] You'll be okay, sister.
[Lilith] Thanks, Vault Hunter. I'll be all right. Let's get to the ship.
[Ellie] Vault Hunter, over here. You hold onto that astronav chip for now, hon. Ugh! This is bad, but now ain't the time to talk it through amigo! We gotta get the hell out of here. And that ship is the safest place I know.
[Ellie] VH! Get on the ship! We gotta get outta here before more of them COV sumbitches attack!
(The heroes come aboard the giant spaceship and fly away.)
[Ellie] Lil... what the hell happened to you?
[Tannis] Her tattoos are gone. Lilith is... no longer a Siren.
[Ellie] You're sayin’ Tyreen stole Lil's powers? Well, let's hunt down that god queen-bitch and get ‘em right back!
[Claptrap] Are you crazy?! I say we stay here and build a fort.
[Tannis] To Claptrap's point. Can we really take on the Calypsos in our current state?
[Lilith] Tyreen's after the power of the Vault, and there's no one else who can stop her. We have to get there first. I may not be a Siren, but I'm still a Crimson Raider. We all are.
[Ellie] I'm with you, Lil, through thick and thin. You know which one's which, stringbean.
[Claptrap] That's what I’ve been saying!
[Tannis] Certain death it is! And I obviously won't pass up a chance to study a new Vault.
[Lilith] All right. Let's get to it.
[Claptrap] We ride! Onward, to Promethea!
[Ellie] Hey, Lil. Bad luck to take a ship out of orbit without a name.
[Lilith] She's already got a name. Sanctuary. Vault Hunter. Over here.
[Lilith] Tannis isn't wrong. Tyreen is more dangerous than ever. She's got an army, the map, and… my Siren powers. We're gonna need all the help we can get. Claptrap, what intel do we have on Promethea?
[Claptrap] Ahh, Promethea! A shining metropolis and the home of the Atlas Corporation. It's the most technologically advanced planet in this arm of the galaxy!
[Lilith] Atlas, huh? Well have to convince them to help us find the Vault before the Calypsos do. Killer, plug in that astronav chip so we can set a course for Promethea. All right. Let's get the hell out of here.
[Ellie via ECHO] Brace yerselves. This baby's sportin' an implosion drive. That means you gotta be REAL Careful with it. A single miscalculation could end this adventure real quick.
[Claptrap] Boring! I got this! Onward to Promethea!
[Lilith] Claptrap, wait!
(He rapidly presses some buttons on the control panel. Something explodes and the heroes hang in the air.)
[Lilith] Claptrap—what did you do?
[Amara] Uh, are we supposed to be floating?
[Ellie] What in the HELL?! We got a hull breach! Pressure's falling!
[Claptrap] Hnh... aghh... whoa-whoa! Aaagh!
(Claptrap sucks the ship's windshield hole.)
[Ellie] That's weird. I'm not showing that hull breach anymore!
[Claptrap] That's because the only thing standing between this ship and space is my ass! MY ass saved all YOUR asses!
[Ellie] One sec, y’all. I’ll reboot the grav generator.
[Lilith] Not my kind of flying. Glad that's over. Not my kind of flying. Glad that's over. Damn it! The drive's busted! Nav and propulsion too. Until we get our systems online, we're dead in the sky. Ellie, how long's that gonna take?
[Ellie] Keep your skinny pants on, Lil. I'm working on it!
[Lilith] Do what you can. Fast. Vault Hunter, go check on the rest of the crew. See if anyone needs help. Claptrap... keep your ass in that hole.
[Claptrap] You can count on me!
(Amara goes to Tannis' office. The whole place is frozen, like a fridge. You can't see Tannis anywhere. There's some creature on the operating table.)
[Tannis] Is there anyone there? Hello? Follow the clinical sound of my voice.
[Amara] Uh, where are you, Tannis?
[Tannis] Don't worry about me. I'm all right—just staying warm! The thermal control system malfunctioned during the hull breach. You'll need to reboot it. Well, I suppose this is technically a micro-climate. Hahaha!
(Amara punches the button. The temperature in the room is starting to rise.)
[Tannis] Just a moment! Nghh... rgh... Rght. Whew! Surprisingly comfortable, you know. Like a fleshy sleeping bag. Although I do feel a bit... viscous. Thank you for bringing my lab back to a survivable temperature. You should go see if anyone else requires assistance. I will contact you if any other devices require... punching.
(Then Amara goes to Marcus. There's a fire in his shop.)
[Marcus] My wares! My beautiful implements of destruction! Vault Hunter, quick, do something!
(Amara's shooting at a water pipe.)
[Marcus] Thanks! But my firing range is still on fire! Thanks. Come on back and let's have a little... chat. I appreciate the help, Vault Hunter. But don’t expect a fire sale. However, you can take an SDU from your old pal Marcus. The more you can carry, the more you can buy from me! Better buy up the rest quick! This is very limited stock. Pleasure doing business with you, Vault Hunter.
(Next she visits crew quarters. She hears screams for help behind closed doors.)
[Sanctuary Crew Member] Anyone out there? Let us OUT!
[Sanctuary Crew Member] We're trapped!
[Sanctuary Crew Member] That maniac locked us in here!
[Sanctuary Crew Member] My bladder is gonna explode!
[Ellie via ECHO] Those doors should be working fine. Someone locked those poor bastards in before takeoff! Get 'em out of there, VH.
[Sanctuary Crew Member] We're saved!
[Sanctuary Crew Member] That robot is insane!
[Sanctuary Crew Member] Shut up. he said he d punish us if we told anyone.
[Lilith via ECHO] Claptrap, did you imprison our crew?
[Claptrap via ECHO] You mean the intergalactic interns/slaves?! Of course! I locked them all in a small room to ensure their unwavering loyalty. It’s Management 101!
[Lilith via ECHO] I'm going to say this once:</b> no slaves.
[Claptrap via ECHO] No slaves for a week. Got it! Recruit. Since I can't use my prison cells anymore, I guess you can use one as your personal bunk! Enjoy, recruit! Maybe I'll come by and admire/judge your room's feng shui later!
[Ellie via ECHO] Nice goin', Vault Hunter! I found the problem. Blown entropy accelerator. I got a spare one in the cargo bay. Come help me out, will ya?
(Amara's going to Ellie.)
[Ellie] Blown entropy accelerator ain't no thang. Got loads of spare parts in the cargo bay—and some special gear I was saving for ya!
(However... there's a fire on the cargo bay.)
[Ellie] Aw hell. We gotta cut our losses and vent the cargo bay! Well, there goes the grapple-grabber, the jetpack, and all the left-handed guns... guess it wasn't meant to be. But if Earl didn't get sucked out into the icy maw of space, he should have a spare entropy accelerator. Earl, wake the hell up! Our ship's dead in the water and we need your help!
[Crazy Earl] Whatchu want?
[Amara] An entropy accelerator.
[Crazy Earl] I’m busy. Now scram!
[Ellie] Just hand over the entropy accelerator, Earl.
[Crazy Earl] I don't see your name on the door! Whatever yer name is.
[Ellie] Hand over that part or I'ma twist ya into a pretzel and fondue your ass.
[Crazy Earl] Fair enough. I'd give it to ya if ya had somethin' worth my while, but ya don't! So get lost, freeloader!
[Ellie] Earl. It's been a day, amigo. Don't test me.
[Crazy Earl] You ain't got squat—no sale!
[Ellie] Earl, you—rgh! Vault Hunter, he's locked in there tight. Maybe if you had some more Eridium, he'd be willin’ to trade. Go talk to my mama at the bar. She keeps all kinds of currency around just in case.
(Amara is running to the famous Moxxxi’s Bar.)
[Customer] It's okay. It was just a dream.
[Moxxi] I used to have bars all over Pandora. Hard to keep regular patrons with the Children of the Vault murdering them all. The name's Moxxi. What's yours, sugar?
MOXXI. TOP SHELF.
[Amara] I'm Amara. And you're a knock-out.
[Moxxi] (flirty chuckle) Guilty as charged.
[Ellie via ECHO] Quit thirstin’ up our new Vault Hunter, Ma, we're in the crap. We need some Eridium to fix the ship.
[Moxxi] Have you tried my slots? Maybe you'll get lucky.
(She walks up to a slot machine and pushes it slightly with her ass. Amara wins a pack of Eridium.)
[Moxxi] Well, would you look at that. You’ve got the magic touch. Come back any time. sugar. I've got a few other games we could play.
[Ellie via ECHO] All right, VH. Go give that turd blossom Earl what he wants.
(Amara buys the part from Earl.)
[Ellie] Terrible doing business with you. Earl.
[Crazy Earl] Come back never.
[Ellie] Well, that was a bitch and a half. Now go install that new entropy accelerator. We gotta get a move on! Aw yeah. She's purrin’ like a skag with a belly full of bandit. We're back online, Lil! Head to the bridge, VH. Let's get outta here!
(Amara gets back to the bridge.)
[Tyreen on screen] Hey, Lil, you're back on the grid! Thought you might have just, y’know-chk-chk, thbwthbwl! Heh. While you were gone, Troy whipped up a propaganda vid for our followers. Galaxy premiere! Check it out. You're a star!
(There's a comedy version of Lilith's beating that says "Not Siren" and "Lairhawk Got Plucked.")
[Troy on screen] Lookin' good, Liarhawk!
[Tyreen on screen] Better hurry up and get to Promethea! See you later, have a good war!
[Claptrap] Say what you will about those guys, but their production value is through the roof!
[Lilith] Ignore them—we’ve got work to do. Vault Hunter, let's get out of here--for real this time. Take us to Promethea.
(Amara presses a button.)
[Lilith] Here we go.
[Ellie] Here we go!
[Claptrap] What's happening? I can't see! I can't see! My ass... it's full of stars!
[Lilith] Well, we arrived in one piece. That's a first. What the hell? That's a Maliwan fleet!
[Ellie] I thought this was an Atlas planet. Somethin' ain't right, Lil.
[Lilith] Looks like we aren't the only ones with their eye on Promethea. Vault Hunter, over here. Listen. About what happened on Pandora. We can't let anything slow us down. You're gonna have 10 pick up the slack for me. Can I count on you?
[Amara] Oh, I got this Commander.
[Lilith] Good. Now, let's make contact with Atlas. If anyone knows where the Vault is, it's them.
[Lilith] I'm not picking up any signals from Atlas. Maliwan must be jamming their comms. Wait, here's something.
[Unknown via ECHO] Atlas Command, come in! We're being overrun! Send reinforcements.
[Lilith] Sounded like an Atlas distress call. They need help down there. Getting Atlas on our side would be a good start to finding the Vault here. If we can back them up. maybe they'll help us. Or at least not kill us while we search. That distress call was coming from the city outskirts. We need to get you down to the surface, but we don't have access to the Promethean Fast-Travel network.
[Ellie via ECHO] Way ahead of you, Lil. Vault Hunter, come down to the cargo bay and let's chat.
(Amara is running to the cargo bay.)
[Ellie] Right, so: I rigged up our drop pod with a Fast-Travel unit. Once you're planet-side, it'll hook up with the local network and you can come right back up. Now, it won't be what you call comfortable, or trustworthy, or safe by any measure. I'm just listing things, ain't no “but” at the end of that. 'Cept these two hams you been checking out. I saw ya! Anyway, get in and I'll launch ya.
[Lilith via ECHO] That looked like a rough ride. You still with us, killer?
[Amara] Ugh, that landing. I've been in gentler fistfights. Ngh.
[Lilith] As long as you're alive. Looks like Ellie got you within the city limits. Co find whoever made that distress call.
[Unknown via ECHO] Command, do you copy? Send backup! Atlas Command! Damn it, we’ve got bandits coming out of thin bloody air!
[Lilith] What? Bandits? How did they beat us here?
[Tyreen via ECHO] Heya superfan! You finally made it! We've been here for ages. Oh! Thank Lilith for the cool powers. This Firehawk thing RULES! Oh, have fun! Bye!
(Amara's walking down the drain, fighting skags and psychos.)
[Promethean Civilian] Aghhh! It's a psycho!
(Amara sees a girl fighting desperately against psychos.)
[Unknown] You messed with the wrong city! I’ll take you all on! Get to cover. I'll hold them off! Ngh! Bloody…
LORELEI. BLOODY. BADASS.
[Lorelei] Bloody hell that got a bit mucky. Thought we were sorted back there. Hey you, over here! Slag me, you've got some good timing! These bandits somehow got their hands on some wicked Maliwan guns.Oh, right—I'm Lorelei. Did Rhys send you?
[Amara] Who's Rhys?
[Lorelei] My boss? CEO of Atlas? We're at war with Maliwan? Not from around here are you? Heh, now all these maniacs show up all over the city screaming about some Vault.
[Amara] That's the Calypsos doing. They want the Vault, and I'm here to beat them to it.
[Lorelei] The Calypsos? Those yammering ECHOnet assholes with the cult? Well, I got no slagging clue about Vaults, but Rhys would know. Come on. I gotta tell him about our new bandit problem anyway. I’ll introduce you. I'm good to go here. Place is compromised anyway. Let me know when you're ready.
(Amara restocks ammo and equipment from vending machines.)
[MarcusRecording] Now get outta here. That ammo won't shoot itself!
[Dr. Zed Recording] Tired of wastin’ cash on respawns? Look no further.
[Lorelei] Grab some wheels. We need to drive through the spillways, and there's always trouble
[Ellie Recording] Put some steel under your heel at the Catch-A-Ride!
(They get in the car and drive to the base, shooting bandits along the way.)
[Lorelei] Maliwan pushed most of the Atlas forces back to HQ, but I've got a small team working behind enemy lines. I have to make sure they haven't been overrun with all these bandits running around. I’ll be honest, Atlas forces are gutted. I've been using what resources I’ve got left to keep the civs safe and disrupt Maliwan supply lines. Can't remember the last time I slept in a bed. Ugh. I miss coffee. Where the hell did these bandits get hover-wheels?! That's Maliwan tech! Let's take one out, see if we can find where they're getting this stuff. Nice! I see an ECHO in the wreckage. Grab it!
(Amara turns on the tape.)
[Tyreen] Okay. One more time, and I'm gonna say it slowly: don't kill the Maliwan guys.
[Psycho Killer] KILL THE MALIWAN GUYS! FOR YOUR FOR MY QUEEN! FOR MY—
[Tyreen] No-no-no-no-no okay, um... This energy? I love it, but we made a DEAL with Maliwan, and now we're NOT going to kill them. So... What are we going to do when we see a Maliwan guy?
[Psycho Killer] KILL THE MALIWAN GUYS FOR TYREEN! FOR THE TWIN GODS!
[Tyreen] Yeah, okay, gotta start this one over.
(She kills the psycho with her powers.)
[Psycho Killer] Grghaww!
(The tape ends.)
[Lorelei] Ugh, slag me! The bandits are working with Maliwan! Bloody fantastic. This is our stop. On foot from here. My people are inside. Let me do the talking. Oi, Skyman! Open up!
[Skyman] Uh. Password?
[Lorelei] Password's “open the bloody door before I shove a coffee grinder up your ass.”
[Skyman] It's definitely her guys! Welcome back, sir!
[Lorelei] Report! How's it looking?
[Skyman] Lots of movement, bandits and Maliwan patrols working together. We moved the civs into the tunnels just in case. And we've tried contacting Rhys, but Maliwan is jamming our comms.
[Lorelei] Bollocks. Stay sharp, Skyman. —C'mon, Vault Hunter. This way. There’s an Atlas base nearby with a direct line back to Rhys in HQ. Maliwan captured it a few months ago. I haven't had the manpower to take it back, but now that you're here, maybe we can finally send those bastards packing. See these civilians? Maliwan doesn't care if they're caught in the crossfire. They're here to take over Atlas and sell Rhys new weapons as their own. To them, this war is just a merger. Let me know when you're ready to take back that Atlas base,
[Promethean Civilian] Hey there, Vault Hunter!
[Lorelei] You ready to move out? The base isn't far, but— (something explodes) What was that?!
[Promethean Civilian] Maliwan! They found us! Run!
[Lorelei] Oh, bollocks! Maliwan's in the funnels! Take 'em out!
(Amara kills the soldiers.)
[Lorelei] Maliwan's never come down here before. If they think we're easy targets now that they've got bandit backup… oh, they're about to learn differently. Come on!
[Promethean Civilian] Please don't shoot! I always buy Maliwan!
[Lorelei] Customer's always right, bitch! Come on. We're heading to Watershed Base. It's through here. Maliwan's bloody well entrenched, so get ready for a fight. We're close. Get ready. These guys aren't bandits—Maliwan's a well-equipped corporate army. We're gonna hit 'em hard, and make it hurt. Bloody digistruct torpedoes! They're sending in reinforcements! Pyrotechs! Look out! Get wasted, you wankers! That was brilliant, Vault Hunter. All right! Let's get that channel open to Atlas HQ. Re-establishing connection... come on... Phew. All right. Connection to Atlas Headquarters is still intact. When you're ready, Vault Hunter.
(A large hologram of Rhys appears on the floor from a round panel.)
[Rhys Hologram] Hi! You've reached Rhys Strongfork, CEO and wartime general of Atlas Corporation. Just a quick question... WHO THE HELL IS THIS AND HOW DID YOU GET ON MY SECURE LINE?!
[Lorelei] Rhys, relax, its Lorelei. We've taken back Watershed Base, with a little help. I’ve got—hang about, WHAT IS that thing on your face?
[Rhys Hologram] Oh this? This is my… siege mustache. The troops love it. Anyway, uh, who's your friend?
[Amara] I'm a Vault Hunter. And I'm here with the Crimson Raiders.
[Rhys Hologram] Vault Hunter—Crimson—Holy crap, YES! How many troops did you bring? Twenty thousand? Fifty thousand?
[Amara] Depends. Do you count my biceps separately?
[Rhys Hologram] What? Come on! I can take back this city with a single-digit army!
[Lorelei] They're good, Rhys. Really good. And we need all the help we can get. Bandits are pouring into the city, and they're working WITH Maliwan. Looks like Katagawa's made a deal with the Calypsos.
[Rhys Hologram] Perfect. Everybody's just piling on. Well, new friend, you showed up at the right time. My top agent is gearing up to strike at Maliwan's strategic Gigamind. If they are after the Vault, that's where the intel will be. Go meet up with my agent. Rhys out!
[Lorelei] Right. While you go meet Rhys' agent. I'm gonna get this base back online and start securing more of the city. Oh—before you head off. I've got something for you. Since you're heading downtown, I'm hooking you up with a Cyclone. It's fast and light, perfect for getting about the city streets. Take it for a spin.
[Ellie via ECHO] That little sprig of mint gave you a new vehicle, huh? I'll make sure it's loaded into your Catch-A-Ride profile so you can digistruct a new one from any terminal.
(Amara goes to town on a monocycle.)
[Lorelei via ECHO] Rhys agent is bit of a loner, but he's got quite the knack for putting people's insides on their outsides. I'm sure you two'll hit it off just grand.
[Tyreen via ECHO] Superfan! So, what do you think of our first corporate sponsors? I gotta say, so far, selling out rules!
[Troy via ECHO] We gave Maliwan an unlimited supply of screaming war-meat, a.k.a. our followers. And they gave us a bunch of crazy high-tech guns.
[Tyreen via ECHO] And once they take the planet, they get Atlas, and we get the Vault. So, you're left playing with whatever you got down there! Just keep doin' you! Ha!
[Lorelei via ECHO] That weapons depot's a juicy target, but they've got an impenetrable security force-field surrounding it. If you somehow crack it open you're gonna find some quality firepower in there.
(Soon Amara finds a ninja robot. He stylishly destroys several robots with his sword.)
ZER0. IRONICALLY DOES A LOT OF DIVIDING.
[Zer0] Hello. Vault Hunter. / Let's ruin Maliwan's day. / Our mission begins.
[Amara] What a curious person. That WAS a person, right?
[Lilith via ECHO] That's Zer0. He used to be a Crimson Raider, like you. Wondered where he'd ended up. He's always been a little... cryptic, but he's as deadly as they come.
[Zer0] Haywire service bots. / Their masters have long since fled. / Decommission them.
[Zer0] All bots demolished. / Lower that shield so we can. / Loot some sweet weapons.
[Lorelei via ECHO] The force-field's down? Brilliant! That weapons depot should be easy pickings now.
[Amara] Are those Atlas dropships?
[Zer0] Negative. We made them angry. / Prepare for counterattack. / Maliwan dickheads.
[Zer0] Their assault has failed. / A predictable outcome with our combined skills.
[Amara] What are we looking for?
[Zer0] New Maliwan tech. / My sword requires an upgrade. / Search through this depot.
[Zer0] That's the sword upgrade. / I need it for our mission. / I’ll trade you for it.
[Zer0] Thank you. Look at this. / Monomolecular edge. / Translation? Cool sword.
(A holographic screen is activated on the wall and a well-groomed man appears on it.)
[Katagawa Jr.] Hey, it's Rhys' best friend Zer0, stealing my tech. What's wrong? Atlas not “cutting it” anymore? My offer still stands. It's not too late to come work for Maliwan. And YOU must be the Vault Hunter Tyreen warned me about. You know what, I don't even have time for you. I'll let my superior forces do the talking.
(The screen tuns off.)
[Zer0] That's Katagawa. / Head of Maliwan Mergers. / And Acquisitions.
[Zer0] That guy is a douche. / And he's way obsessed with Rhys. / It's kind of creepy.
[Zer0] With this new upgrade, / I can cut Maliwan shields. / Stand back and watch this.
(He cut through force-fiend on the door.)
[Zer0] Walls cannot hold us. / Now to take down Gigamind. / That is our mission.
[Amara] Is this "Gigamind something I could punch?
[Zer0] Maliwan AI. / All their secrets in one place. / A juicy target.
[Amara] So we break Gigamind into tiny bits and then sift through them for info?
[Zer0] Precisely the plan. / Meet at Halcyon Spaceport. / Now the hunt is on.
(Amara jumps on the monocycle.)
[Ellie via ECHO] Ya don't need no license for these babies, go hog wild!
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] This takeover won't be hostile for long. Atlas and Maliwan, we're hashing things out the corporate way. Rhys doesn't get it yet, but when this is over we'll all be one titanic happy family. You’re small stuff, Vault Hunter. Not worth my time. Mess with my Gigamind, though, and that'll change. You keep playing under the feet of giants, you're gonna get stepped on.
[Zer0] Gigamind is here. / Expect intense resistance. / This is the fun part.
[Zer0] This fight is a test. / Show your true skill in battle. / I will be watching.
(They find the Gigamind. He looks like a Martian from Mars Attack!)
GIGAMIND. MIN-MAXED INTELLEGENCE.
[Zer0] So. Nor an AI. / Secrets locked in squishy brain. / Hack him. With your guns.
(Amara kills the Gigamind and takes his brain.)
[Zer0] That will at least hold / recently processed data. / And thoughts during death.
[Amara] It's... squishy?
[Zer0] Return to the base / and send that data to Rhys. / I have more to kill.
[Zer0] Oh, and Vault Hunter… / you are worthy of that name. / Good hunting with you.
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Wow. You really just popped the brains right out of my Gigamind. Not satisfied with running underfoot, huh? I get it. My father once said I was twelfth in line to run the company. So I made cleven quick little cuts to the family free. Now. I'm next in line. Think about that, now you’ve put yourself in my way.
(Amara returns to Watershed Base.)
[Lorelei] Welcome back Vault Hunter. Wait, why do you smell like brains and fried circuitry? You know what I don't want to know. Call Rhys and let him know you got the job done.
[Atlas Soldier] Stay lean, mean, and full of caffeine!
[Rhys Hologram] Hey! Vault Hunter! Did you get the data from Gigamind? Give it!
[Amara] Oh, I got it. But I want your word you'll help us open the Vault.
[Rhys Hologram] Ooh, uh, yeah, that. Uh huh, it's just... I'm super busy with this whole invasion thing. Any other time, it is Vault o'clock, baby! But I’ve, I've got my company to look out for.
[Amara] So you don't mind if throw this brain in a drainage ditch?
[Rhys Hologram] Wait-wait-wait-w-wait, okay! Okay! Fine. I rebuilt Atlas from almost nothing, and I will do anything to keep Maliwan from taking that away. I swear on this company's future that I will help you find and open the Vault.
[Lilith via ECHO] That's as good a promise as any, killer. Give the man what he needs.
[Lorelai] Hahaha! I have never seen Rhys squirm like that. You're really something, Vault Hunter.
[Rhys Hologram] Standing right here. The hologram can still hear you. And holo-Rhys has feelings.
The Impending StormEdit
[Rhys Hologram] Ohohhh man! This guy had everything up in there! Troop movements, supply lines, scouting data... hmm. Looks like Maliwan's been searching for fragments of the Vault Key themselves, and they've got some leads. A planet called... Athenas?
[Lilith via ECHO] Athenas? Perfect. Vault Hunter, come up to Sanctuary
[Rhys Hologram] Great work. You do that. Rhys out.
[Tyreen via ECHO] Okay, so you saw a corporation that was getting curb-stomped by a way bigger and cooler corporation, and you said, “I’m going with team loser-stache”? Come on, work with me here, superfan! This whole beef over the Vault has been getting mondo views, but it’s got a shelf life. Specifically, when you die, so… try to keep it going? Maybe find some better allies? Just a suggestion. Later!
[Atlas Soldier] Does anyone have some ammo? I used all mine and I'm sad now.
[Lorelei] Things were bad enough around here before we had to deal with bandits, too. Guh.
[Atlas Soldier] See ya, Vault Hunter.
(Amara teleports to Sanctuary III.)
[Lilith] So how was Promethea?
[Amara] Big city. Felt like home. Atlas has seen better days.
[Lilith] Well help Rhys when we can, but right now, we've got to get to Athenas. I've got a friend there. We should see what she knows. Claptrap, tight broadcast to Athenas, callsign “sapphire”
[Claptrap] Andddddd, comms open!
(A holographic screen appears on the ceiling.)
[Maya] Lilith? What are—oh, dammit!
(She shoots back at the advancing enemies.)
[Lilith] Bad time?
[Maya] Yeah! Kinda! I'm guessing you're calling for the same reason Maliwan is trashing our monastery Well, I don't have it, but I know where it is. Hey—get here soon or you'll miss all the fun. And by "fun", I mean "getting bulldozed by corporate murder squads".
[Lilith] Maya... she can hold her own until we get there. She's a Siren, and as badass as they come. Hell, maybe we can convince her to join us.
[Tannis] It would be helpful to have another Siren on board—Besides you, Lilith. I was still counting you.
[Claptrap] Ohh, more ladies on Admiral Claptrap's love ship. Everyone's lookin' at Claptrap! Boo-ya!
[Lillith] Set a course for Athenas, Vault Hunter.
(Amara presses a button on the central panel and the ship rushes into space. On arrival, the heroes find the Maliwan ships again.)
[Lilith] Maliwan again. These guys are relentless.
[Ellie] Drop pod's ready when you are, VH!
[Pandoran Civilian] Hey, Vault Hunter. Keep fighting the good fight!
(Amara runs to the cargo bay where Ellie's already waiting for her.)
[Ellie] A bandit cult led by a soul-sucking Siren. Inter-corporate war on Promothea. We're in the crap, amigo, no doubt about it. You just keep kickin' ass for Lil. Someone's got to. Well, hop on in whenever!
[Maya via ECHO] You're here! Right in time for a fight. I'm Maya. Come find me in the market quarter. A battalion of Maliwan troops, are trampling my home and I'd appreciate some help you know, killing them. I’ll be nice to have someone else here besides my apprentice who hasn't taken an oath of non-violence. Speaking of which…
[Maya’s ECHO] It's the Siren! Get her! I'M MELTINGGG! Ghrhrgeirrhrgh!
[Maya via ECHO] Whew! Heh. See you soon. Clear out those troops. I'll be there soon. Just laying out some… karmic realignment.
(After breaking through the platoon of soldiers Amara meets Maya. She kicks down the door with some poor beaten soldier and flykick the second one.)
MAYA. PHASELOCK AND LOAD.
[Maya] So you're kickin' ass with the Raiders? Guess Lilith had to replace me eventually. Ready for some more action?
[Amara] You know it. And if you don't know, now you know.
[Maya] Thought so. Follow me. We'll meet up with my apprentice IF she hasn't gotten herself killed. The fragment's sealed inside an Eridian anchorhold. The whole monastery was built around it by monks who think it's sacred. Maybe it is, but right now it's attracting the wrong kind of attention. I come back from Pandora to protect this place. That was working out pretty good until Maliwan found us.
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] Attention, stupid pacifist monks! This is Oppressor Traunt. It's not just a title, oppression is my profession. Athenas is now property of the Maliwan Corporation. No trespassing!
[Maya] Ugh. That's Traunt. Real pain in my ass. So far, he hasn't been able to get into the anchorhold, but... let's not rely on his incompetence.
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] Now, look, monks. I know you think I’m doing this ‘cause I enjoy terrorizing you, but actually to make my big brother proud of me! He's a General, y'see, and I got a heh, HUGE inferiority complex about it. So if I have to burn down your entire monastery to impress him then... so be it. Y'know? You get it, right? You get it.
[Maya] Secure the square. Once it's safe, we'll ring the bell of peace so the monks can let us through. Coast's clear. When we're not at war the bells of peace ring all hours of the day and night. Kind of a nightmare honestly.
[Brother Catus] Maya! Where's the little one?
[Maya] Probably finding trouble!
[Brother Catus] Finding trouble, or causing it. May the six storms protect you.
[Maya] He's right. I should check on my apprentice. Ava, are you still guarding the library?
[Ava via ECHO] Maya! Hey... yes. I am definitely at the library, because you told me to stay there. Here! Because it's where I still am.
(Shots are being fired.)
[Ava] Uh, that was a... book. Gottagobye!
[Maya] Uch. Keeping Ava in one place is like holding on to quicksilver. But that's why I took her in. Either she was going to get herself killed, or maybe I could train her to... y'know, survive.
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] Attention, monks of Athenas. This Is Captain Traunt. Surrender the Vault Key fragment immediately... or we're gonna downsize your stupidly serene planet. That means we're gonna blow if up! God, I love this company! Form and function!
[Maya] Hell yeah, Vault Hunter! If you'd been around when the invasion started, we just might have held our own. Now ring the bell. I'm gonna need some Eridium to get into the anchorhold. It'll amp up my Siren powers. On an extremely related note, how do you feel about grave-robbing?
[Amara] Fine, but let's call it ‘grave-borrowing’. Got a reputation to uphold.
[Maya] Good. There's some Eridium hidden in the cemetery. Something tells me Ava's already there. She'll help you out. I’ve never actually been inside the anchorhold. It’s got Eridian protections around it, but I think I can get around them. There is a passage in my book of ancient Siren techniques. Gonna go grab it since the library's unprotected and til catch up with you later.
(Amara finds Ava near the cemetery entrance. She's not too embarrassed to go through the pockets of a dead body.)
[Ava] Cool if I take this? Thaaanks, later.
AVA. GRAVE ROBBER, ASPIRING VAULT HUNTER.
[Ava] Oh... hey I was just out here... looting corpses. But, wait—you're a Vault Hunter like Maya USED to be? Go on adventures, save the universe, kill bad guys?
[Amara] That's me! Would you like an autograph?
[Ava] YES! That's so freakin' cool I want to die instantly. I'm gonna be a Vault Hunter too! Or, I would be, if Maya assigned me more than just guarding a dusty ass library and staring at water for like a hundred hours. Sorry just really boring around here. So! We gonna loot this graveyard or what? Whatchu got, gate? Nothin’, bitch! You got nothin’! C'mon. Ohhh, crap!
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] Attention everyone, this is Captain Traunt! Those monks are in that spooky graveyard. Wipe ‘em out and make me proud. Then well go out for soft serve! Cones on Traunt!
(Amara kills the guards in the cemetery.)
[Ava] I can open this tomb up no sweat. What you got, tomb? You got nothin'! Maya says the monks put Eridium in tombs, so the dead have some spending money in the afterlife, we'll pay ‘em back later—like, if we're not also dead.
[Ava] Huh, empty. Weak—but I know a few more places we can try.
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] Captain Traunt here. Again. Why are you statue-polishers fighting back, anyway? I mean, I... I thought you, were supposed to be all zen and shit stop this rebellion immediately, or I'll reduce your tranquil meditation planet to rubble.
[Ava] Let's kill these guys, then loot ‘em! I got this one—agh. It's sticky! Why?! Why is it sticky?! Ugh, monks are so weird! Ava Ratch! I hate ratch! Or is it ratches? Either way... they must die. Huh. Looks like they ate the Eridium... but Maya's gonna need WAY more than that. Last tomb. Then we can go get that fragment. Man, I've been dyin' to get inside that anchorhold ever since I got here. Somethin about locked doors, man. Makes my palms itch.
[Sgt. Homins] Gahhh! Ratch attack! RUN!
[Sgt. Higgwink] This wasn't in my contract!
[Ava] What the hell?! Ohhoh—big ratch! Big freakin’ ratch! Kill it! No money, NO MERCY! IT MUST DIE! Awww, hell yeah! That Eridium is probably covered in ratch guts. You should pick it up. For... safety.
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] I am done playing games, monks. Get ready for some divine judgment, from ME! TRAAAAUNT!
[Ava] Maya wants to have all the fun fighting off Maliwan, but SCREW THAT! That Traunt guy is the worst and I want to kick his dick off myself!
[Maya via ECHO] Ava. Go protect the grain storerooms. Let the Vault Hunter take care of Maliwan.
[Ava] Ughhh! Got it, Maya. On my way. All I ever do is protect archives, or storerooms, or sacred whatevers. I'll see ya later, Vault Hunter.
[Maya via ECHO] Huh, Ava really took a shine to you. Might want to check your pockets. She was a stowaway on one of out seasonal merchant ships. We... crossed paths. She tried to steal my book... and instead of throwing her off a cliff, I decided, to train her as my apprentice. I've got my book and heading your way in a sec. I'm just finishing up some… DIE, YOU CORPORATE BASTARDS! (deep breath) Ancient relaxation exercises. Much better.
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] Attention, rebel monks of Athenas. This is Captain Traunt again, uh… I’m losing my freakin’ patience, so I’ll say this as politely as I can: please consider surrendering while we trample your treasured heritage just cause, uh... we're better than you.
[Maya via ECHO] All right, Ava. Where is it?
[Ava] Not here! Or anywhere. Because I don't know what you're talking about, so I couldn't know where it is.
[Maya via ECHO] Uh huh. The book I can see it in your bag. Hand it over.
[Ava via ECHO] Fine. It's dumb, anyway. Can't read any of that stuff.
[Maya via ECHO] Well, you will someday... Wait. The only time I'm not carrying this is when I'm asleep. Did you sneak into my room?
[Ava via ECHO] Uh, no! I found it in... a bird's nest. Hey, who's Nyriad?
[Maya via ECHO] I have no idea. Where'd YOU hear that?
[Ava via ECHO] You were saying it in your sleep.
[Maya via ECHO] Which you heard from the bird's nest.
[Ava via ECHO] Crap.
[Captain Traunt via ECHO] I am through playin’ games—unless that game is KILL THE MONKS! That'd be awesome!
(In the furthest corner of the map, Amara faces the Captain himself...)
[Captain Traunt] TRAAAAAAUNT!
CAPTAIN TRAUNT. THAT’S TRAUNT.
(Amara kills him.)
[Ava] Vault Hunter! You wasted Traunt? Good riddance.
[Amara] My only regret is that I had to stop punching him.
[Maya] You got the Eridium? Give it here. I’ve never been able to use Eridium the way Lilith does, but I found a technique in this book that might change that. Okay, here goes... something.
(Maya uses her power and lifts the round door up.)
[Maya] It's... it's working! Hooo-lycrap. I feel like I could phaselock a planet right now!
[Ava] Teach me that right now.
[Maya] Whew. I could get used to that kind of power. Okay, let's get the Key fragment, Vault Hunter. Ava. You survived the invasion. Guess all those hours staring at water taught you somethin' after all.
[Ava] Tch, I can handle myself. I learned to fight WAY before I met you.
[Maya] Let's spar then, kid.
[Ava] Oh, you know I would, but I've got, uh... loot to sort through.
[Maya] Nope. Go pack a bag. You get your wish. We're leavin’ with the Vault Hunter.
[Ava] Wait for real? I mean, yeah, cool, whatevs. Could be fun. I'll grab my stuff.
[Maya] Vault Hunter, check this out. The Eridians left messages like these all over the galaxy. I always figured there was a connection between Sirens and Vaults. I can't read it, but it must mean something. This relic's been here since before I was born, but as long as Maliwan knows it's here, Athenas will never be safe. I should tell you this before I explain it to Lilith. The real reason I took Ava on as an apprentice... she's going to be a Siren. Someday. And I want to make sure she's ready when that happens. See you up in the stars, Vault Hunter.
(Amara’s teleporting to Sanctuary III.)
[Claptrop] Helloooo semi-adult human! I am—
[Ava] Claptrap! Holy crap. I've heard so much about you!
[Claptrap] Wait, what?
[Ava] Uh, yeah?! When you took on the bullymongs, and Captain Flynt—and the STAIRS?! I make Maya tell me about it all the time!
[Claptrap] So you... want to hear stories... about how cool I am.
[Ava] Pshh! Yeah!
[Claptrap] Have YOU come to the right place! Come, new favorite crew member! Come and hear the story of how MY ASS saved the entire ship! There I was! Surrounded by total nimrods, who couldn’t tell you the difference between an implosion drive and a sun-baked egg salad sandwich. “Be careful,” I said! “This is high tech stuff!” But noooo, they wouldn’t listen to me. They just took off! No regard for safety protocols! Now the whole ship is tearing itself apart! Lilith says, “Oh no. We’ve got a hull breach.” That's when I made a decision that even the Firehawk herself couldn't make! I chose to throw myself at the danger rather than risk the lives of my friends and crewmates. And plugged the hole with my own ass!
(Amara hands over a piece of key to Tannis.)
[Tannis] A new Vault Key fragment. Just holding this makes my skin fingle. That, and I ate one of Marcus's discount… burritos. In case you were wondering, this isn't a complete Vault Key. Why the Eridians split the keys into fragments is anyone's quess, but the Vault Key on Pandora required three pieces. Still, it's a start. You should return to Lilith. I'm sure she and Maya have a lot of catching up to do, or whatever it is people with social lives do. No thank you! Give me a sterile room full of surgical equipment any day! I heard you won us some allies while on Promethea Some people are like that, attracting friends and allies and well-wishers wherever they go. But lam not one of those types, and never will be.
[Lilith] What do you mean, a Siren apprentice?
[Maya] I cant explain it right now, Lilith. But she's going to be a Siren someday
[Lilith] We'll talk about this later... S’up, killer. Maya says you kicked some major ass.
[Amara] What can I say? I'm a natural.
[Lilith] I believe it. Well, one fragment down, two more to go.
[Maya] So what is this all about, Lilith? Why is Maliwan on Athenas? Our key fragment has been a secret for generations. How did they find out about it now?
[Lilith] I’m not sure. But the Calypsos seem to know more about the Vaults than any of us, even Tannis. They knew about the Vault on Promethea must be part of their plan. We have to get there first.
[Maya] We will, Firehawk.
[Lilith] I'm not sure anyone calls me that anymore.
[Rhys Hologram] Lilith! Long time. So... how are things?
[Maya] Wow. Nice mustache.
[Rhys Hologram] Thanks! It's a siege mustache. Listen, I'm gonna have to cash in that allies card. Katagawa's got an Asteroid mounted laser aimed at Atlas HQ, and he's threatening to slice me in half unless I surrender! I'm, uh, freaking out here. Freaking out! Oh, and Zer0 reports the laser's being powered by a Vault Key fragment, so, uh...
[Lilith] All I needed to hear. We're on it.
[Rhys] Now we're talking! Yay, allies! Rhys out.
[Lilith] Go down there and help Rhys with his laser issue, Vault Hunter.
[Maya] I hope Rhys knows what he's doing. Lilith says he's one of us, but... you can't trust a man with a mustache. That's just science.
(Amara teleports to Meridian Metroplex.)
[Rhys via ECHO] It's Vault-o-clock, baby! Meet me at... launchpad 7. So Maliwan has that laser on lockdown There's no way your drop pod would get through security. Buuut... I’ve got a state-of-the-art Atlas-brand ship with cloaking! So, the plan is to fly up to the Orbital Platform and take out that laser before Katagawa knows what hit him!
[Tyreen via ECHO] Hey! You got yourself a fragment! Making your own Vault Key? That’s fun. You know what we’ve been making? An ever-hungry tide of ravenous followers sweeping over the galaxy committing super-murder in our name! Just a thought. If you wanna keep up, ya might spend more time recruiting and less time polishing your gun.
[Troy via ECHO] That's called strategy, bitch.
[Tyreen via ECHO] Oh, look—a thousand more bandits pledged their lives to me while we were chatting. Good thing, too—I am starving!
(Amara meets up with Rhys.)
[Rhys] Hey, you made it! My ship's right there. State-of-the-art Atlas cloaking, baby. This way!
(Katagawa destroys the ship with a purple laser beam.)
[Rhys] No, no, no, no, no no no no no no NO! Agwhwh...ahhh!
RHYS. BESIEGED AND BE-STACHED.
[Rhys] Ghh... KATAGAWA!
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Rhys, buddy! Given that unconditional surrender any more thought? Or do you need another love slap from your old pal Laser-roid to change your mind?
[Rhys] Tch, screw you!
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] When you're ready, just swing by with the paperwork. Can't wait to absorb Atlas into the Maliwan family! Oh, and you can bring Zer0! I'll be he's interested.
[Rhys] I'd die before I hand over Atlas to that corporate ass-hat. New plan, new plan. We steal a Maliwan shuttle with security protocols! Here, take this. So uh, the Viper Drive is Atlas state-of-the-art remote hacking. Now we'll use that baby to steal a Maliwan shuffle. You in?
[Amara] Of course. Uh... your mustache is very distracting.
[Rhys] Focus. Just—just find yourself a Maliwan shuttle and pop in a Viper Drive! I will do the rest.
Okay. Time to try out the Viper Drive! So. Pop it into that console.
[Rhys’ Voice from Viper Drive] Just gotta get in somewhere you're not wanted? Viper Drive, by Atlas. It's state-of-the-art.
[Rhys] Yes! We're in! Ha-hah! Rhys comes through. High-fives? Anybody? Okay, okay! Hey, uh, let me know when you're there.
[Amara] Landed, Rhys.
[Rhys] Whoa, that actually worked? I mean, of course that worked and no death-spheres in sight!
[Amara] Uh—what's a death-sphere?
[Rhys] Never mind. According to Zero's intel, your Vault Key Fragment is powering the laser. We just gotta find the control room. Head to the main gate. No death spheres.
[Rhys via ECHO] That is the Zanara, Katagawa's pleasure yacht. Rumor is he invited his siblings on board for a party and then murdered them. That's how he became head of Mergers & Acquisitions at Maliwan. Oh, by the way—be careful with this low gravity. Might take some... getting used to. Uh oh, looks like there's security up ahead—you take care of them. I will make sure they can't call for back up. Nice murdering! I'll find you a way in. Pop a Viper Drive into that console so I can hack security and locate the fragment.
[Rhys’ Voice from Viper Drive] Viper Drive. When your hacking skills need some BITE. Viper Drive, by Atlas.
[Rhys via ECHO] Okay, fragment's not far I'm gonna open that gate. There's reinforcements on the other side, so find some cover and ambush them! Ah, here they come! Enter the base and pop a Viper Drive into the security console. Then I will hack in and locate the laser control room. Damn. You kill real good. Real good! The main elevator leads right down to the laser. We'll be in and out so fast, Katagawa won't know what hit him! Now call the elevator. It'll take you right down to the laser!
[Rhys’ Voice from Viper Drive] Viper Drive. When you've got pink eye and can't open your front door with a retinal scan... we'll be there. Atlas. State-of-the-art.
[Rhys via ECHO] I'm in. Bypassing security protocols now. I said now! Now! Now, you stupid... oh no...
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Rhys, is that you? Welcome! So once we make your unconditional surrender nice and official, you and I are gonna party on the Zanara. That's my pleasure yacht. Security! Kill the Vault Hunter.
(Amara fights for her life defeating hordes of armored soldiers.)
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Wait a sec... Rhys why ARE there Vault Hunters here? Tell me you weren't trying to take out my laser. It’s my FAVORITE LASER, Rhys.
[Rhys via ECHO] Oh, uh, h-hey. Yeah, uh, see, the, uh... the whole laser thing, well, um. It's just making it hard for my employees to work down here. It's really starting to kill morale a little bit.
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Who cares about them? I'm doing this for us. The people who matter. The executives. But you're ruining it, Rhys. You're ruining it by trying to defend yourself. Security? KILL THE FREAKING VAULT HUNTER!
[Rhys via ECHO] Hold them off! I can fix this! Damn it! He locked down the elevator. Let's see... oh, hell yeah Some spy stuff! Head through those ventilation ducts. They lead straight into the maintenance area! All right. Head through maintenance! I might have found a way into the laser control room.
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Oh Rhys, I know your stupid Vault Hunters are skulking about. Better sign those surrender papers, buddy. Otherwise...
[Orbital Security] Target located. Laser fire in three, Two, one.
[Rhys via ECHO] Noooo that was my favorite bagel place! Katagawa, you MONSTER!
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Boo-ya! And that's only half-power. If you don't surrender soon, Rhys, I'm gonna slice you in half
[Rhys via ECHO] Stupid Katagawa. I totally could held him off. Then he allied with the stupid Children of the Vault Those cultists have been working themselves to death. I can't compete with free labor!
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] YO, COV! Bring me a Vault Hunter head. I'm gonna hollow it out and use it for a coozy while I'm partyin' on the Zanara. Oh, Rhys? Buddy, I still haven't received those surrender papers. Let's see what should I target next? How about your favorite theme park?
[Rhys via ECHO] No—not Lazy River Land. Anything but Lazy River Land!
[Orbital Security] Laser firing in three bananas, two bananas, one banana...
[Rhys via ECHO] NOOOO! Ghghgh, damn it!
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] Don't worry, Rhys. We've got an anti-grav infinity lazy river on the Zanara. Price of admission... Atlas.
[Rhys via ECHO] Arrrrgh! We've got to find a way to disable that laser! Ooh, ooh, idea. Um. Shut down that stabilizing thruster. Might buy us some time! I will never forgive Katagawa for destroying Lazy River Land. I used to take my team there to unwind! And now I'm wound and all out of bagels! Boo-ya!Thrust that, thrusters! That sounded better in my head. Disregard. But look. It's working!
[Orbital Security] Section 35 thrusters malfunctioning.
[Katagawa Jr. via ECHO] What the hell is happening? I was just about to give Atlas HQ a mohawk. Get those thrusters up and running now!
[Rhys via ECHO] Hell yeah. Now clear out those cultists and keep going. The back entrance to the facility is just up ahead! That chute is your ticket in. All you gotta do is find the release lever!
[Tyreen via ECHO] Not so fast. Vault Thief Got some fam who’d LOVE to eat ya!
[Rhys via ECHO] Oh crap, head's up! Ta-da! What, nothing? Come on, I just got you into a freaking Maliwan base. A little celebrations in order. Just press the celebration button. Think it’s Q.